Positive parenting tips for children ages 6-10
UNICEF’s guide to calm, positive parenting as your child gets older
As children get older, positive parenting teaches them how to make good choices and believe in themselves.
When children feel safe, loved, and know what to expect, they thrive.
Don’t forget: no one parents perfectly, and you don’t have to do it all on your own. UNICEF is here with expert advice and support.
Guiding this age group
Children ages 6 to 10 are growing fast in confidence and independence, but they still need you.
They're still learning to manage big feelings and need your help along the way. They learn best with encouragement, not punishment. Listen, guide with love, and help them try new things.
Here’s some important things to remember:
Children learn through doing
Children learn best when they’re included in everyday life. Joining in family tasks and social activities helps them build skills, confidence, and a sense of belonging — even if things take longer or get a little messy.
Tip: Let your child help with tasks like setting the table, picking out clothes, or joining simple conversations. Give boys and girls the same opportunities to learn these skills, showing that everyone can be caring, responsible, and helpful.
Your child is not a mini-you — help them grow into their own person
Children are not meant to be copies of their parents. They have their own personality, pace, and path. What they need most is your support as they discover who they are.
At this age, children start to build their identity, including how they think and feel about gender roles and expectations.
Encourage them to try different interests and express themselves freely. Don’t limit their choices in clothes, hair, sports, or friends based on what’s “for boys” or “for girls.”
Tip: Let go of comparisons. Celebrate your child’s unique strengths. Give them space to grow into their best self, in their own time.
Comparison is more harmful than helpful
When we compare children to others, it can feel like we’re judging them — often without meaning to. Every child has their own voice, needs, and ideas that deserve to be heard.
Tip: Listen to your child's ideas and needs with curiosity, not criticism.
Shame doesn’t teach — kindness does
Criticism that feels personal can hurt more than help. When correcting your child, it’s important to separate what they did from who they are. Focus on the behaviour, not the child.
Tip: Instead of saying “You’re so rude,” try, “Interrupting makes it hard for others to share their thoughts. Let’s work on taking turns.” This helps your child learn without feeling ashamed.
Making mistakes helps children learn
Children learn by trying and sometimes, by getting it wrong. Mistakes aren’t failures; they’re stepping stones to learning and growing.
Tip: When your child makes a mistake, offer support, not shame. Say, “That didn’t work out. What can we try next time?”
Children always learn by what you do, not by what you say
Children learn so much by watching you. Show that everyone can be kind, strong, and caring.
Tip: Help them learn to handle stress and big feelings in positive, non-violent ways. For example, talking it out, taking deep breaths, or asking for help when they need it.
Positive Parenting: Basic Tips
Never use violence
Hitting, yelling, or using harsh words might stop a child’s behaviour in the moment, but it doesn’t help them understand what they did wrong. It often leaves them feeling hurt, confused and causes emotional and physical harm that can last a lifetime.
Using violence also teaches children that it’s okay to hurt others to solve problems.
Never use violence against children, or against each other. Instead, use calm, positive discipline to teach children, rather than punish.
Choose guidance over threats
Threats may stop bad behaviour in the short-term, but they don’t teach long-term lessons. Threats also harm children’s self-esteem.
Children learn best when they feel safe and respected. Kind, clear guidance helps them grow and learn in a healthy way.
Work as a team
Positive parenting works best when all caregivers work as a team — whether you're a mum, dad, grandmother or uncle.
Split up household chores so everyone helps out: cooking, cleaning, and caring for children shouldn’t fall on just one person.
If you’re parenting on your own, remember you don’t have to do it all alone. Lean on friends, family, or community support when you need it. Even small acts of help can make a big difference.
Teach healthy screen habits
Children need real connection. Limit the amount of time they're spending on screens — and the amount of time you spend on screens around them.
If your child is having screentime, choose high-quality, educational programming and make sure you supervise their use.
You should also:
- Turn off screens during family meals and outings.
- Learn about the risks of all the online platforms your children might engage with, from social media to gaming.
- Learn about and use parental controls.
- Teach children about online privacy and safety.
- Use screens with your child, so you know what they’re interacting with and can be sure it’s appropriate for their age.
- Discuss what they’re seeing and help them notice good behaviours like teamwork, friendship, and caring for others.
- Encourage your child to take part in activities that don’t involve screens, like sports, music and art.
If you work away, use technology to stay in touch
Use simple tools like video calls and chats to stay in touch with your children and be part of their lives, even if you're working far from home.
Encourage using screens in ways that build creativity and connection with family and friends.
Talk to your child about online contact
As your child gets older, you won’t always be able to supervise everything they do online. At this age, children might look for or be sent inappropriate content, and they might even be asked to share images of themselves.
Talking to your child openly about the possibly of this happening, and what they should do if it does, is the best way of keeping them safe. Here’s how:
Teach them about online risks. Explain that not everyone online has good intentions and that some people might ask them to share things that make them uncomfortable.
Talk about healthy interactions. Remind them that real friends online should treat them with kindness and respect and not ask them to do anything they are uncomfortable with.
Set a firm rule: Never share images of themselves. Make sure your child knows that:
- Sharing pictures can be risky, and it’s always okay to say no.
- No one should ever ask them for sexual or nude photos — and they should never send any.
- They should never ask for or share sexual or nude photos of others.
- They need to be careful with personal information and should never share their location.
Encourage open communication. Let them know they can always come to you, or another trusted adult, if something feels wrong or if they see something that worries them.
Report any concerns. Let your child know they can always come to you for help. Explain that together, you can report any problems to the platform or the authorities. The sooner they speak up, the easier it is to help and protect them — but also reassure them that it’s never too late to ask for help, no matter when something happens online.
Tip: If an explicit image of your child has been shared, you can take the following steps:
- Report the image to the platform where it was posted.
- Contact Take It Down – a free service by the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children that helps remove explicit images online.
- Report the content to the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) – they handle reports of child sexual abuse material, sometimes referred to as "child pornography."
Talk to your child about safe and unsafe touch
Help your child understand body privacy, by giving them clear, simple guidance on safe and unsafe touch. Age-appropriate sex education can teach them about personal space, consent, and when to speak up.
Remind them that adults should not ask them to keep secrets. And remind them they can always come to you with questions or worries.
You should also help them identify another safe adult they can talk to, especially as they get older and may not always want to come to you first.
Believe in children with disabilities
If your child has disabilities, treat them with the same love and respect as any child. With the right support, children with disabilities can make progress and build friendships with their peers.
All children have the same rights to be part of their families and communities, including attending local pre-schools and schools. Reach out to other parents and local organizations for support.
Break gender stereotypes
Middle childhood can be a time when kids feel pressure to fit in and might stop doing things they love because of what others think. Encourage their curiosity, without limits, through fun and play — whether that’s dolls, blocks, dancing, or dinosaurs.
Avoid saying things like “boys don’t cry” or “that’s not ladylike.” Instead, help them feel safe to be themselves, try new things, and express their feelings. If you overhear your child using or reacting to stereotypes, like “you run like a girl,” it can be a good moment to gently talk with them about kindness, equality, and why those messages aren't true.
Talk about the stereotypes they might come across in books, shows, or at school. Sharing stories that break those stereotypes can help children grow up believing they can do anything they set their mind to.
Be a positive role model
Children pick up on what you do, say and how you behave as a family unit, every day. Set a good example in your own behaviour.
Treat everyone in the family with kindness and respect and don’t use violence or shout at each other.
Understanding and responding to bullying
Bullying can be a more common problem at this age, both in person and online, where children can be bullied by people they know and strangers.
Bullying can take many forms: physical, emotional, being left out. Children who are bullied at school often feel they can’t escape because cyberbullying can follow them home. They may also be encouraged online to engage in risky or dangerous behaviours to gain popularity.
Talk openly with your child about bullying, including cyberbullying which can have serious and lasting effects. Reassure them they have the right to be safe, respected, and supported. Encourage them to come to you if something feels wrong.
If your child is being bullied, it is never their fault. They need to know you are on their side. Blaming or punishing them will only deepen their pain. What they need most is your support, safety, and help finding a solution together.
Encourage your child to be kind and brave in the face of bullying, by sharing these important messages:
- Don’t bully others online or in person.
- Come to you if something online makes them feel uncomfortable or upset.
- Speak up for classmates who are being left out or picked on.
- Tell a trusted adult if they see or experience bullying.
- Treat others the way they want to be treated.
When you talk about these issues calmly and clearly, you help your child feel empowered to protect themselves and treat others with kindness and respect.
Positive Parenting in Action
These examples show how to apply positive parenting in everyday situations.
Supporting your child through homework struggles (7 years old)
A 7-year-old struggles to finish homework before bedtime. They try their best but take a long time to understand the questions. Frustrated, the parent scolds them and gives extra punishment, like writing the answer 100 times.
Instead of focusing on speed or perfection, try to remember: every child learns differently. They need time, support, and patience to grow at their own pace.
Be patient and encouraging. Gently guide your child through their homework. Give them space to think and try.
Break it down. Help them manage tasks by breaking them into small, easy steps.
Celebrate effort. Praise how hard they’re trying, not just the final result.
Encourage girls to keep trying in maths and science. Research shows that by this age, many girls already think they’re not good at maths. Remind them that everyone can learn and grow in these subjects.
Build healthy habits. Create a simple study routine together that works for your child, with breaks and encouragement built in.
Help them build skills beyond schoolwork. Encourage all children to take part in social activities like volunteering and service clubs to build their cooperation, empathy, and leadership.
When children feel safe and supported, instead of rushed or punished, they’re more likely to enjoy learning and grow with confidence.
Helping your child build healthy screen habits (8 years old)
An 8-year-old spends too much time on the family’s mobile phone — watching videos, playing games and even adding strangers on social media.
The parent is worried and wants to stop this behaviour. In the past they may have scolded the child by saying phone use is like smoking and comparing their grades to other children.
But harsh words and comparisons to other children can hurt a child’s self-esteem and damage your connection.
Here’s how to approach the situation in a calmer, more positive way:
Focus on the behaviour, not the child. Let your child know you're concerned about the phone use, without criticising them as a person.
Avoid comparing your child to others. Saying things like “other kids do better” can hurt your child’s confidence and create shame. Focus instead on their own effort and progress.
Set clear and fair rules. Work together to create simple rules around when, where, and how the phone can be used.
Talk openly and honestly. Explain why phone limits matter and listen to how your child feels. This helps build trust.
Use supervision and age assurance tools. Use parental controls to make sure that that what they’re watching is appropriate for their age and protect them from hyper sexualized or violent video games. Explain why you’re doing so clearly, so your child understands the reason behind this.
Offer other options. Help your child find other fun activities — like sports, reading, art, or playing outside — that can reduce their urge for screen time. Encourage all children, regardless of what’s expected of their gender, to try different activities and explore what interests them.
It takes time, but with your support, your child can learn to manage technology in a healthy way.
Finding out your child is being bullied (9 years old)
You’ve noticed your daughter has been quiet and distant lately. Then you find out she’s being bullied at school. She’s being left out by other girls and made uncomfortable by a boy who hugs her from behind. She didn’t tell you sooner because she was afraid you might blame her or say she’s being too shy.
At first, you might feel a mix of emotions: shock, anger, worry. You might even think: Did she do something to cause this?
It’s a common reaction, but it’s important to remember: your child is not to blame. Bullying is not the result of shyness or weakness — it’s about power and unfair treatment.
Here’s how you can support her:
Tell her you’re proud. It took courage for her to come and tell you.
Support her. Let her know it’s not her fault and you’re on her side. You can say: “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m here for you, and I’ll help keep you safe.”
Listen with care. Listen without interrupting or judging, so she feels safe to tell you exactly how she feels. (Make sure both boys and girls know it’s okay to have big feelings. Let them feel safe sharing emotions like sadness, frustration, and tears.)
- Find a solution. Work together with your child to find a way forward. Talk through what can be done. Let her be part of the plan and keep supporting her along the way. If needed, reach out to the school.
Helping your child learn from an online mistake (10 years old)
You get a call from your child’s teacher: your 10-year-old edited a photo of two classmates into a wedding picture, with a sexual joke and shared it with the class. You're shocked and angry. In the moment, you smash your child's phone.
It’s normal to feel upset, but reacting with violence and punishment may only make your child feel afraid, instead of helping them learn.
Here’s a better way to respond:
Stay calm and get the full story. Let your child know you're not here to punish, but to understand.
Talk openly. Ask what led to the behaviour. Listen, then help your child understand why it was hurtful.
Be clear that it’s not okay. Tell your child clearly and calmly that this behaviour is harmful and must stop.
Help your child see that bullying causes real pain. Teach them to think before they act and to never say or do something they wouldn’t want done to them.
- Use it as a learning opportunity. Talk calmly about respect, online safety, and how to think before posting. Help them understand the impact of their actions and how to make better choices next time.
Your calm, firm response teaches more than anger ever could — and helps your child grow into someone who uses the internet responsibly, with care and respect.
"Our household's number one rule now is to listen. Our family seems happier now. There's less shouting and hitting...We don't blame each other anymore."
For Path and Phearith in Cambodia, positive parenting made life better for the whole family — and even strengthened their bond as a couple. Read their story here.
Remember: Parenting is hard, and everyone makes mistake. Be sure to take care of yourself too – it’s essential to being the best parent you can be. These resources are here for you:
