How to talk to your daughter about periods
Expert tips on what to say, when to say it, and how to help her feel supported
Talking about periods can feel awkward for many parents, but it’s a crucial part of helping your daughter prepare for puberty.
A bad experience with a first period can shape how a girl feels about her body for years. It can leave her feeling isolated, unsure of how to manage her periods safely and hygienically and stop her from asking for help.
That’s why early, open and caring conversations about periods at home are so important.
Noticing the signs that your daughter may be about to start her period — and discussing what to expect — can make the experience far less confusing or frightening.
These expert tips will guide you on when to have the period talk and how to help your daughter feel confident and supported.
When to talk to your daughter about periods
It’s helpful to start small, honest conversations about puberty early. From around age 9, you can naturally introduce periods into conversations about how your daughter’s body will grow and change.
Checking with her school about what they’re teaching on puberty and when can help you support her learning at home.
Trust your instincts about when your daughter is ready and follow her pace and comfort level. But try to talk about periods before her first one arrives.
When do girls start their period?
Every girl is different, but most get their first period sometime between 9 and 15 years old. On average, it happens around age 12.
Signs your daughter might start her period soon:
A first period often arrives about two years after the breasts begin to grow. Other signs that her period could start soon include:
- Underarm and pubic hair.
- More mood swings or emotional changes.
- Pimples or acne.
- A sudden growth spurt.
Start by preparing yourself
Because periods are often surrounded by myths and taboos, take time to learn the science so you can explain the facts clearly and confidently.
This video from Menstrupedia is a good place to start:
Pick a good time and place
Talking about periods for the first time can feel difficult. So, try to choose a moment when both you and your daughter are relaxed and have time to talk, without stress or distraction.
A quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be interrupted can help her feel more at ease.
Stay calm and positive and take your time. Practicing what you want to say beforehand can help you feel more confident. If you’re feeling nervous or unsure, she’ll likely pick up on it, and it may make her feel uncomfortable too.
If you don’t feel fully prepared, you can ask a trusted female relative or family friend, like an aunt or older cousin, to support you or to have part of the conversation with her.
Use a gentle icebreaker to open a conversation
If you’re unsure about how to start the conversation, an icebreaker can help. For example:
"Have you learned anything about periods in school or from your friends?"
- "I wanted to talk to you about something that's a normal part of growing up for girls."
- "As you're getting older, your body will start to go through some changes, and one of those changes is related to periods."
These open the door without making the conversation feel heavy or formal.
Explain in a way that is suitable for her age
Use clear, simple words your daughter can understand. You can use books, diagrams, videos and apps to help explain.
Be honest and avoid using slang phrases or labelling periods as something dirty or impure. Instead, use scientific words like 'vagina' and 'blood'.
Keep the explanation simple so you don’t overwhelm her. Be patient and let her process the information at her own pace.
If you can see that she feels uncomfortable, tell her that nerves are normal and there's nothing to worry about.
» This guide includes some child friendly explanations of periods.
» You can also download the Oky Period Tracking App, that has a period encyclopaedia.
Ask what she knows already — and really listen
Ask her what she’s already heard about periods. Let her respond without interrupting to show you care about what she has to say.
She might have heard rumours about periods before, or she might know nothing about them. Be prepared for both situations. Think about how you will handle them in advance.
Remember there is no right way for her to feel. Don't criticise or judge what she says.
If she tells you incorrect information, correct it in a kind and gentle way.
Encourage questions and answer them honestly
Let her know she can ask anything, now or later. There are no silly questions.
Try to answer all her questions as honestly as you can. If you aren’t sure of the answer, tell her you’ll look it up and get back to her — and make sure you do.
How to help your daughter with sanitary products and hygiene
Start with period products
There are several products out there that can be used to catch blood during periods, including menstrual cups, tampons, cloth and disposable pads.
Talk to your daughter about the different options, show her how they work to help her decide what she feels most comfortable with.
Disposable pads or reusable cloths are usually the simplest options. Be positive and open when demonstrating period products, so she knows they aren’t something to be ashamed of.
Disposable pads
Disposable pads are simple and widely available, which makes them a common first choice. But they can be expensive and create more waste, which is why many girls and families prefer using reusable cloths.
Talk to her about how to:
- Place a pad correctly and comfortably.
- Change it every 3–6 hours, depending on how heavy her flow is.
- Wrap a used pad in newspaper, tissue or the wrapping paper of the new sanitary pad and dispose of it in a bin (never down the toilet).
Reusable cloths
Reusable cloths are popular in many homes because they’re affordable, comfortable and better for the environment.
Talk to her about how to:
- Place and secure a cloth in her underwear.
- Change it every 3–6 hours, or sooner if needed.
- Reuse a cloth hygienically by washing it well with soap and water and drying it fully in the sun.
- Bring a used cloth home with her from school in a small bag.
Remind her that she should never feel embarrassed to ask for help or more information.
Menuri from Sri Lanka shares why she uses reusable cloth sanitary pads
Make her a period pouch
Before her first period, help her prepare a small period pouch she can keep in her schoolbag. This helps her feel ready anywhere she goes. Include:
- A spare pair of underwear.
- A few pads.
- Tissues.
Let her know that if she starts her period and has forgotten her period pouch, teachers and the school nurse should also be able to help.
Talk to her about menstrual hygiene
Good hygiene during her period helps your daughter stay comfortable and prevents infections. Make sure she knows how to clean and care for herself by:
- Showering or bathing as usual. (There’s no reason not to shower or bathe as normal during your period. It helps you stay clean and can relieve period pain.)
- Washing her hands with soap and water before and after:
- Going to the toilet.
- Touching her vagina.
- Changing her pad/cloth.
- Gently washing her genital area at least once a day, using water, mild soap and a soft cloth.
- Washing from the front of the vagina to the back.
- Not washing inside the vagina, especially with soap.
- Wearing clean underwear and changing it daily.
How to talk about period pain and stains
It’s important to let her know that periods can sometimes come with small mishaps or discomforts, like cramps or the occasional stain. But keep the focus on reassuring her that these things are normal and easy to manage, rather than worrying her.
Period pain
Sometimes periods can be painful. She could experience cramps, mood changes, headaches or back pain in the days leading up to and during her period.
Most pain can be eased by:
- Going on a short walk.
- Having a nap.
- Using a hot water bottle.
- Drinking lots of water.
- Gentle pain medicine.
Reassure her that she’ll learn what works best for her body.
Period stains
Her period may arrive unexpectedly, especially in the first few years. This can cause stains on clothes or bedding, which can be distressing.
Reassure her that accidental stains are nothing to be ashamed of and something every woman has experienced.
Tell her that if her period starts away from home, she can:
- Tie a jumper or jacket around her waist.
- Ask a trusted female adult or an older girl for help.
Helping her stand strong against period myths and shame
Sadly, in many communities across Asia Pacific, periods are still surrounded by myths, silence or shame.
Girls may grow up hearing things like “periods are dirty,” or “girls shouldn’t take part in activities or cook during their period.” Some may even be stopped from going to school during their period, or kept away from other people.
These beliefs aren’t based on science, and they can make girls feel ashamed of their bodies or afraid to ask for help.
» Maria from Pakistan tackles period myths
Talking openly about these issues can help your daughter understand the truth and feel proud of her changing body. You can explain that:
- Periods are normal and nothing to be ashamed of — 1.8 billion people around the world have them!
- Period shaming is a type of discrimination that unfairly targets women and girls for a healthy and natural bodily function.
- Period shaming can harm girls' self-esteem and confidence.
Ask your daughter if she has ever seen or heard examples of period shaming. You can also share your own experiences, how it affected you and how you overcame it.
All these conversations can help your daughter feel less alone and more empowered to speak up against period shaming.
You can build her confidence even more by surrounding her with supportive people. Encourage her to talk to trusted women in the family such as an older sister, aunt or grandmother who can offer reassurance and share their own experiences.
Involve the men in the family
It’s important to talk to the men in the family about periods and make sure they show a positive and open outlook as well. This is especially important if a girls’ main caregiver is male.
Your daughter will feel more confident if she is supported by the whole family.
Over time, men can also help challenge old myths and taboos and create a healthier and create a more supportive environment for girls.
How to talk to boys about periods
- Start early:
Talk about periods as part of general conversations about puberty and body changes, not as a secret or “girls-only” topic. - Explain the basics simply and factually:
Tell boys that periods are a normal biological process and part of how bodies work. Use clear, correct words and avoid jokes. - Correct myths:
Ask what they have heard from friends or school, then gently correct any wrong ideas or teasing language. - Set expectations about respect:
Be clear that making jokes, teasing, or bullying about periods is hurtful and not acceptable. - Build empathy, not embarrassment:
Explain that periods can involve discomfort or stress, and that being kind, understanding, and discreet matters. - Show how boys can be supportive:
Give concrete examples such as not laughing at stains, standing up against teasing, offering help, or simply being understanding. - Model positive attitudes at home:
Let boys see adults speak openly and respectfully about periods, so they learn periods are normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
Supporting her when her period arrives
Special things to do when your daughter starts her period
Be prepared for the day she comes to you to tell you her period has started. Stay calm. This moment can feel big for her. She’ll need your support, positivity, kindness and reassurance.
You can prepare a small kit in advance with essentials like a hot bag, sanitary supplies, gentle pain medicine, comfortable underwear and a small treat such as chocolate.
Offer her a hug, ask how she’s feeling and what she’d like to do. She might want to rest at home or go out and do something special to mark the moment.
Give her space to talk about how she’s feeling and listen with empathy. This will help her feel understood and supported.
How to take care of a girl during her period
Teach her self-care
Self-care can make periods much more comfortable. Help your daughter learn simple ways to look after herself, including:
- Eating a balanced diet that is rich in iron, like beans, dark green leafy vegetables and nuts.
- Getting enough sleep. (Girls aged between 6 and 12 need 9–12 hours sleep per night. Girls aged between 13 and 18 need 8–10 hours of sleep per night.)
- Exercising. (Exercise is a great way to ease period pain and boost mental health.)
- Taking warm baths or using a hot bag.
- Practicing relaxation techniques, like meditation and deep breathing.
Let her keep doing what she loves
Reassure your daughter that she can still live her normal life during her period. She can go to school, play sports, spend time with friends and enjoy all the activities she did before.
Encourage her to keep playing, exploring and having fun, especially if she starts her period at a young age. She’s still a child with many years of growing ahead, so encourage her to play and explore without feeling pushed into teenage roles too soon.
Share helpful learning resources
There are loads of resources out there to help your daughter understand, manage and track her periods, together with you or on her own. Here are some of our favourites:
- Oky: The period tracker app by girls, for girl
- A period guide for teachers: Written by experts at UNICEF in South Asia
- SOCHAI talk menstrual cups: Young people give advice on using menstrual cups
- SOCHAI’s menstruation bracelets: Learn how bracelets can help track periods
- Menstrupedia’s YouTube Channel: Full of engaging and understandable videos about periods
Keep the conversation going
Periods are a big topic. Your daughter’s questions and experiences will change over time, so keep the conversation going.
You can use everyday moments to raise the conversation in a natural way. For example, when you see an advert about period products on TV, or when you know the topic of periods has been covered at school.
This helps her feel safe talking to you about her body and her period. With this support, she can understand her body, manage her period and grow up feeling informed, proud and strong.
