Why it is important to talk to children about emergency situations
Failing to explain an emergency situation to your child has consequences. Here’s why and how to address the elephant in the room.
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In an emergency setting, caregivers are often confronted with conflicting thoughts on whether to explain the situation to their children, if at all, and how to do that. Many think that diverting children’s attention to another issue is the way to go.
We have had discussions with the experts from the "Parenting School" Parenting, Educational, and Psychological Support Center NGO. Here's what you should be aware of when engaging in a conversation with your child:
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Not addressing the issue results in: |
Talking about it with your child contributes to: |
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Children will/might have fears and anxious thoughts |
It will help ease children’s state of anxiety |
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Children will/might develop mistrust towards adults, the parent-child relationship will be negatively affected. |
It will improve your relationship with your child |
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Children will/might feel lonely or abandoned |
It will help your child feel emotionally supported |
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Children will/might experience doubt, anxiety, guilt or erroneous assumptions about the situation |
It will help them understand the situation and have factual information at hand to make sense |
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Children will/might experience difficulties with understanding own thoughts and feelings. |
It will help them gain an important experience for life |
You might feel that if you don’t address the situation with your child, it is in their best interest and a way to protect them from the reality or any pain and grief related to the state of emergency. However, we all need to understand and remember that feelings and processing of feelings are an important part of our life, including for children. It is very important to talk to children about it, explain them the situation without conveying incorrect or false information.
Watch the video with a psychologist below for more on how to address the situation.
Psychologist talks about these 8 points to parents
Children should have that conversation with an adult whom they trust/love, an important person for them. Try to remain calm, really listen in to what he/she is sharing with you, try to answer based on what you already know, give the opportunity to your child to talk/release what they have on their mind.
Talk in a calm environment without any distractions. Keep eye contact, if your child doesn’t mind, you can sit close and hug him/her.
- Accept child’s emotions without judging, negating or devaluating, arguing. If your child has a specific thought/feeling in that moment, just listen in and acknowledge it.
- Listen and understand your child’s emotions and express your understanding of it. E.g. I understand that you feel [name it], I see that you need/want…
- Show to your child that you are listening. You can do that by reformulating or repeating what you hear. E.g. I think you meant [this], I see – so you think/feel/need [this]…
- Before providing them with an answer, check what they actually know/think/assume about the situation. E.g. so what/why/how do you think happened, what do you know about the situation?
- Your answer should be succinct, clear and understandable (in terms of terminology/words) to your child.
- Give only correct information. Refrain from any information that is false and made up and doesn’t correspond to the reality. You can tailor its content and length to the age of your child. You should share information (including in a way) that doesn’t make them even more stressed or anxious. There is a fine line here so you should be careful and offer information/tips on how to cope and what you as parents plan to do to offer reassurance and help them understand what coping mechanisms they have at hand to feel empowered/resourceful.
- Talk about your own emotions. You also have various emotions around an emergency situation and it’s important to acknowledge them and talk openly and share so that you can create an environment where your child can be open with you too and follow your lead.
- Be optimistic and positive and help your child to be optimistic as well. All situations are temporary, and a day will come when you can look back and understand that you gained an important life experience, new knowledge and skills, or uncovered a new strength in yourself and grew from the situation.
Children will have different questions about the situation and might need several conversations. It is always good to address their questions and be of support.
Homework for parents at the end of the video (call to action): choose a convenient moment in the next two days to initiate a conversation with your child on an important topic and be mindful to use these 8 tips. Comment back on what worked and how you did.
This article is developed as part of the project funded by the UK Government’s Conflict, Stability and Security Fund. The opinions expressed in this video are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official position of the UK Government.
