"I don't have to be dependent on my emotions, I can live in the present, I can build a new life!"
UNICEF has provided individual and group psychosocial support for children and families from Ukraine.
- Hrvatski
- English
With her two daughters, Darija (15) and Alisa (6), Natalija arrived in Croatia from Ukraine about a year and a half ago. She recalls that period with reluctance:
"It was a massive shock for me. I hadn't planned to leave; we had built our lives in Kyiv, everything was stable. And then, in one day, everything changed. Arriving in Zagreb, the hardest part for me was coming to terms with this new reality, realizing that I had to rebuild my life from scratch. It was even more challenging because of the language barrier - you have to learn, take on responsibilities, take care of your family, provide for your children. The trauma of war compounded it all, not being able to see my parents who chose to stay in Ukraine. But things got much easier after seeking help from our now family psychologist, Victoria. I'm immensely grateful for her assistance."
Fifteen-year-old Darija, now accustomed to life in Zagreb after a year and a half, shares how she's seamlessly integrated. She no longer feels the language barrier and considers Ukrainian and Croatian friends alike. However, she reminisces about the initial struggle and feeling lost during those trying times.
"I'm very open-minded; striking up conversations is no issue for me. But back then, I didn't understand what was happening. All I knew was that I had lost something inside me, unable to express what I wanted, where I was, or how to move forward."
Natalija tried to be her children's pillar, engaging in conversations, yet soon realized it wasn't enough. Seeking professional help from the Society for Psychological Assistance, a UNICEF implementing partner in the program "Supporting integration of refugee and migrant children in host EU countries" was a turning point. This program provides individual psychosocial support and group workshops for displaced Ukrainian children, parents, and caregivers.
"Darija cried a lot, and my younger daughter too; she didn't understand why she had to go somewhere and learn. That was hard for her. For me, doubly so because they dreamt of war-related scenarios. My younger daughter once came to me and said, 'Mom, last night while I was sleeping, I saw a war and was teaching other kids how to fall and what we must do.' It was a shock for me that young children would dream such things. As a mother, it struck my heart. That motivated me, and it was why I sought help for the children. I noticed my younger daughter grasping things faster, but with Darija, I sensed something wasn't right, and we had to take action. I'm delighted we found Victoria, truly delighted!"
Adaptation and engagement of the entire family are pivotal to success
Victoria Kolodiazhna, a Ukrainian psychologist working alongside three colleagues, conducts counseling and workshops within this program. She highlights the significance of adaptation of workshops and counseling sessions for children and families.
"Everyone, children, parents and caregivers alike, is glad these sessions are conducted in their mother tongue, Ukrainian. It facilitates openness and comprehension, significantly improving the outcomes of psychosocial support."
Both Darija and Natalija endorse this sentiment, noting that using their native language "allows for deeper emotional expression, making it easier to communicate from the heart."
But the true impact surfaces when parents or caregivers join these sessions, expediting and enhancing results. Victoria sees this approach as a significant advantage of the program:
"During workshops we teach children to differentiate emotions, understand what they feel when they're upset. But when they return home and aren't accustomed to this, the results aren't as favorable. It's tough for them if parents remain unchanged. As we started counseling parents, we noticed improvements. They began to understand what their children were going through; we taught parents how to express their emotions. They keep practicing it at home."
There's a good metaphor here - one plus one equals two, but in effective communication, in quality relationships, one plus one equals eleven. That's exactly it - when I work with both children and parents, the result isn't just twice as good; it's eleven times better."
Individualizing approaches and supporting parents and professionals
"What's crucial when it comes to children who have gone through difficult and stressful circumstances is ensuring stability, predictability, someone who can attend to their needs without imposing what they think the child needs. In other words, individualization and support for both parents and professionals are necessary because this is an ongoing process, and even minor stressful events, like waiting for documents, can trigger waves of intense emotions," highlighted Marina Ajduković, President of the Board of the Society for Psychological Assistance.
"War affects the psychosocial well-being of every child. Children have had to leave their homes, separated from their friends, and many have directly faced war, violence, and destruction. Almost all men aged 18 to 60 have been mobilized, leading to children's absence of fathers and older brothers or uncles. But children are resilient! UNICEF's decades-long experience working with conflict-affected children shows that a significant number of them will quickly recover if they return to school, stay connected with their friends and families, reintegrate into their lives, make new friends... A smaller number of children will require more intensive psychological support, especially if difficulties in daily functioning persist even after two months," emphasized Martina Štabi, Child Protection Officer at the UNICEF Office for Croatia.
Darija, with support from her mother Natalija, came to realize the need for support. As she explained, she recognized the necessity to take an important step for herself. Releasing her old life, she endeavors to construct a new one.
"Viktorija has supported me a lot, helping me in aligning my thoughts, navigating through previously unrecognized traumas. I'm now embracing a different path where I'm not dependent on others or swayed by my emotions. It's about embracing the present and moving forward. I've come to realize that home isn't defined by borders; it's about the people—the warmth and connection within your family and community. Therefore, I must continue to progress, to keep moving forward."“
Natalija, after noticing a significant change in Darija following their second session with Viktorija, fondly recollects:
"Daša started laughing more, had more energy; she always talked about Victoria. All the time. It was heartwarming to see my child alive again, having overcome that stress. I'm immensely grateful to Viktorija; I couldn't have done it alone."
However, her younger daughter, six-year-old Alisa, began experiencing difficulties expressing her emotions more frequently. Natalija, feeling helpless, once again reached out to Viktorija, unsure of what to do and how to help her.
"Alisa was experiencing intense emotions due to stress, and Viktorija helped her. She used a simple game to replace all the negative thoughts and reactions with positive ones. Alisa found it intriguing, and now she can control her reactions much better."
Professional supervision proves vital to supporting experts
An essential part of the program involves expert supervision. "It was crucial to convey to professionals that they, too, can seek support. Empowering them in what they can offer as primary aids to children and families displaced from Ukraine, understanding their needs, traumas, crisis exhaustion, and how they can engage with children and parents. The reality is that they might start facing the same issues as the local population," explained Marina Ajduković.
Viktorija also stresses how professional support has helped her in dealing with more challenging cases, rating the entire program as highly significant for Ukrainian children, parents, and caregivers. She states that the "program not only helps in their integration into Croatian society but also helps them recognize emotions and manage reactions, enhancing their personal growth!"
"A psychologist provides important a support, and that's crucial for every person. We all carry some unaddressed emotions, which is why we need a professional we can confide in, someone who won't judge us, who will listen and help us. If only more people would visit a 'doctor for the soul,'" conclude Darija and Natalija.
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UNICEF Croatia implements the program "Supporting integration of refugee and migrant children in host EU countries" in collaboration with the State Secretariat for Migration of the Swiss Confederation, funded by the Government of the Swiss Confederation. UNICEF collaborates with national and local partners as well as service providers to achieve outcomes for children, adolescents, and families.
© UNICEF, 2023 “The information and views set out in this page are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official opinion of the Schweizerische Eidgenossenschaft, Swiss-Europe Rapid Response Fund or UNICEF. Neither the Schweizerische Eidgenossenschaft, Swiss-Europe Rapid Response Fund or UNICEF nor any person acting on their behalf may be held responsible for the use which may be made of the information contained therein.”
