The warmth of a family home is stronger than prejudice: “For us, a child is a child”
Unaccompanied and separated children need a warm family environment
- Hrvatski
- English
In Nova Gradiška, behind the ordinary doors of a family house, lies a story of courage, love, and perseverance. For years, Marija and Ivan Rajković have been opening not only the doors of their home but also their hearts to children who have lost the safety of a family environment. Their house is more than a place to stay; it is a refuge, a school of life, and a space where you learn to share, laugh, cope with hard moments, and simply be a family.
How did it all begin?
“We used to visit friends who were foster parents. We saw those children, listened to their stories, and started thinking – what if we tried this too?” Ivan recalls. Marija adds: “We wanted our own children to learn how to share, to play together with others. So, we decided to give it a try.”
The first step was cautious but full of heart: “Give us one child, so we can see what it will be like at home. Will we be able to accept someone else’s child as our own?”, says Ivan. They soon realized that love knows no boundaries – not language, not culture, nor the ones people sometimes create.
Since that day, more than twenty children have passed through their home. Some stayed briefly, others for years. “It all depends on their family and situation,” explains Marija. They’ve kept in touch with most of them: “They come for coffee, for lunch, we talk, laugh about old times. We celebrate birthdays, New Year. Some finished school, moved on with their lives, but they still call.”
One memory stands out – a little girl from Turkey who lived in Germany: “Her father tried to take her to Turkey without a passport. The police stopped him at the border and brought her to us. She stayed for three months. We grew so attached that we cried when she left,” says Ivan. “Even though we didn’t speak the same language, we managed with mobile phones and translators. We sent videos to her mom. When she left, our hearts broke.”
Another story reveals the hardship unaccompanied and separated children carry: “We had a five-year-old girl who couldn’t speak at all. In bed, she always kept a backpack and sneakers – ready to run. She had been through so much,” Ivan says.
Support from family, children, and neighbors: “Everyone accepted us”
Their own children were crucial in the decision to start fostering. “We wanted our children to learn to share, to socialize and play with others. And they supported us from day one,” says Marija. “Our children never made a distinction – everyone is equal at the table, everyone shares toys, everyone gets the same.”
Ivan adds: “My parents love it when we bring the children over. The table is immediately full of chocolate, candy, and cookies. My mom calls me all the time: ‘Did you feed them? Are they hungry?’ She worries as if they were her own.”
Neighbors welcomed them too: “They accepted the children without any problems. No complaints if a ball falls into the yard, no nasty comments. They really went out of their way,” says Marija. “That means a lot because the community can sometimes be a barrier. For us, it wasn’t – for us, it was support.”
“For us, a child is a child”
“For us, a child is a child – yellow, blue, purple, white, red. It doesn’t matter where they come from,” says Ivan. But he admits that sometimes the environment reacts poorly: “The biggest problem isn’t the foster parent, it’s what people around will say. Children of a different skin color in small communities often have a hard time. It’s important to teach children the right values from an early age.”
Marija adds: “Our greatest joy is seeing a smile on a child’s face. That they are carefree, happy, and have the childhood every child deserves.”
How do their own children handle the changes?
The Rajković family admits they sometimes worried not only about the neighbors but about how their own children would react to other children coming to their home. “Once our daughter said: ‘We think you care for them more than for us.’ That hurt, but we sat down and explained – they don’t have a mom and dad, and we’re trying to make up for that. There’s no difference in love, but they need more attention because they’re vulnerable,” Ivan says.
Their children learned to share rooms, toys, even bicycles. “Our son had his Confirmation and saved some money. Instead of spending it on himself, he said: ‘Dad, let’s buy bikes for them too.’ That was the moment we realized we had succeeded – that our children embraced this mission as their own,” Ivan adds.
The Rajković family doesn’t hide that foster care can be challenging: “It takes a lot of patience, especially with little ones. They come from stressful situations, they don’t know the language, sometimes not even our food. You should teach them slowly, with love,” Marija explains.
Still, they feel supported: “If we need help from social workers, they’re always there for us,” says Ivan. “When one child got sick, the Social Welfare Office reacted immediately, helped us with medicine and check-ups. We know we’re not alone.”
A life full of noise, love – and laughter
Their home is never quiet. “We get bored when there are no children. We love the noise, the laughter, the running around. It means they’re healthy and happy,” Ivan smiles. “When we can’t go to the seaside, the pool in the yard becomes our little Adriatic. The children jump, laugh… We don’t mind the noise – it means they’re happy.”
Birthdays are a big deal: “When we celebrate, everyone is equal. No difference between our children and the foster children. Everyone gets gifts, everyone blows out candles. Once we rented a bus so we could all go on a trip together – it was as lively as a school excursion.”
And there are funny moments too: “The children once argued over the lawnmower because everyone wanted to mow the grass. In the end, I went to the store and bought two more – so everyone could be happy,” Ivan laughs.
For the Rajković family, equality is everything: “Everything we teach our own children, we teach them too. No difference. For us, they’re all the same. We teach them life skills – from making a bed to fixing a bike. We want them to feel like any other child.”
Stories that touch hearts
Some moments stay forever: “One little girl asked us: ‘Are you my new dad?’ You have to explain that you’re not – but in a way that doesn’t hurt her. Those are the moments that break you but also show how important it is to be there for them.”
“Try taking one child. If you’re a "normal" person, you’ll love them. And then you’ll want another, and another. Our hearts are full when we see a smile on a child’s face,” says the Rajković family.
Support to development foster care of unaccompanied and separated children is at the heart of activities that UNICEF, in cooperation with Switzerland, carries out across Croatia as part of the programme “Supporting protection and integration of children and families in migration in Croatia" funded by the Second Swiss Contribution to selected EU member states.
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