What is sextortion?

Sexual extortion, or sextortion, is a growing threat that children and young people face online, and it’s happening on the platforms and apps they use every day. The effects can be devastating, and tragically, many children who experience sexual extortion suffer in silence, not knowing who to turn to for help or feeling too embarrassed or afraid to tell anyone. 

We spoke to Dr. Michael Seto, professor at the University of Ottawa and Director of the Forensic Research Unit at The Royal's Institute of Mental Health Research, about online sexual extortion and what parents need to know.

What is sextortion?

Dr. Michael Seto: Online sexual extortion or sextortion is a phenomenon that involves the threat of releasing sexual content – whether that's in the form of sexual chats, nude images or videos – unless the person complies with a request. Sometimes that request is for more sexual content. Sometimes the request is financial – so money, gift cards or some other kind of financial payment. 

What is sexting? How is sexting connected to sextortion?

Dr. Michael Seto: Sexting is the sharing of sexual content, so sexual chats or sending nude or near-nude images. For example, a young person may ask for nudes after they’ve been dating someone for a while, and the other person complies. That's sexting. 

The connection between sexting and sextortion is that once that image is shared, the recipient could now use that image to coerce or pressure the sender to do things. 

People tend to think of extortion – like they do a lot of online dangers – as something that involves strangers, and that does happen. There is a growing awareness that online hackers/scammers are getting involved in sextortion as another way of making financial demands. But a lot of this extortion actually involves somebody who's already known to the young person. So, for example, a boyfriend could say, “I want you to send me more pictures, and if you don't, I'm going to share this with all our friends.” Or in the case of ex-partners, they could threaten “don't break up with me or I'm sending all the nude photos you sent me during our relationship to all our friends at school.” 

What role does AI play in sextortion?

Dr. Michael Seto: Before the wider availability of AI tools, a person had to come into possession of a nude photo in order for online sexual extortion to happen. But now with generative AI and these “nudify” apps, people can make that threat even if the other person never shared a nude photo – because they can create realistic images and videos that look like the person. It's a powerful threat, especially when you think of a younger teen who's scared and doesn't know what to do and doesn't know who to turn to.

> Read Parenting in the AI age

What impact can online sexual extortion have on young people?

Dr. Michael Seto: Sexual extortion has a deep, serious effect on young people’s emotions and sense of safety. They're embarrassed, they're mad at themselves, they're so scared. Often they're so anxious that they don't want to talk to anybody. They just want it to go away. Unfortunately that sometimes means that they think they have to comply with the other person’s demands because they think that's the only way out. Although usually that means they're going to get even more demands. And then, tragically, some teens have harmed or killed themselves because they feel so ashamed, embarrassed or afraid.

How can parents help protect their children from sextortion?

Dr. Michael Seto: Research has shown that how parents introduce the topics of sexting and sexual extortion and how they establish communication with their children is critical. If teens know that this is something that their parents are thinking about, and feel that they can go and talk to their parents if they have a concern or something happens, then that can make a really big difference in outcomes for teens. 

One of the things that I know from our research is that a lot of teens don't talk to their parents about things that they might experience online. They think that their parent's reaction is going to be, “I'm going to take away your phone,” or “you can't be on that platform anymore,” or “I'm just going to set more parental controls.” And so from the teen's perspective, they think “I'm going to get into trouble.” That’s why it's so important for parents to become familiar with what their children are experiencing online, and to be willing to talk to them about it and help them.

How can parents help their children to feel comfortable coming to them if they run into trouble online?

Dr. Michael Seto: It's helpful if parents take a proactive approach with their children about things they may experience. For example, “You just got a phone. One of the reasons you wanted a phone is to be on social media, so that you can communicate with your friends and post. One of the things that can happen is people you don’t know are going to make comments about posts if you don't have it set as private.” Then explore important questions around that, such as: What are the merits of having private versus public settings? What kind of content should you be careful about posting? What should you do if somebody says or does something that makes you uncomfortable? 

Try anticipating the thing that might happen and let your kids know, “I'm aware of it, and I want to help you navigate it if it happens. We can go online together and look for resources, look for advice. But the key thing is don't keep it to yourself. Don't hide it. You're not going to get in trouble. I'm not going to blame you. I want to help you.”

What should parents do if their child is being targeted for sextortion? 

Dr. Michael Seto: Given it's a time of deep crisis and distress, I think it's very important that parents try to be as supportive as possible when they talk to their children about what happened and what can be done. 

There are many different scenarios that can happen, but it’s important to understand whether the person who's extorting your child is somebody who's already known to them versus a stranger. With a stranger, your advice might be to block them and lock everything down as much as you can in terms of security. Unfortunately, this advice isn’t as helpful if it’s somebody that they know. Because even if you can block them online, it doesn't change the fact that they can still talk to you in person. 

I don't think there's one solution, but more about parents establishing that connection with their child, so they can find out what's going on and help them. And that might mean going to law enforcement or to your child’s school. For helpful resources, check with law enforcement or child protection organizations like Child Helpline in your country. 

> Read Supporting your child through a negative online experience

How can you report and remove nude images or videos from the internet?

Dr. Michael Seto: One of the realities, which is really hard to hear, is if images go out into the wild, it's really hard to get rid of them because that's the nature of digital files. With a physical photo, if you could get that photo back, you could destroy it and then it's gone. But with a digital file, people can make infinite copies and it's very difficult to get rid of them entirely. There is a service called Take It Down that can help you remove images or videos online. It’s free and anonymous to use and you don’t need to share the image or video with them. 

What do you wish every parent knew? 

Dr. Michael Seto: I get a lot of questions from parents that are very focused on a particular app or platform. The message I want to share is that it's often less about an app or platform than it is the human element. There's always going to be a new app. There's always going to be a new feature. So how can a parent who deals with all the other issues they deal with as parents keep up? They need to focus on the fundamentals. Are your children aware of the potential harms and risks? If somebody asks your child for a nude image, how would they respond? Would they be willing to talk to you about it?