I never give up on my family
Neowel Domínguez Rubier is confident of the capacities of his two sons, Marcos Alejandro (18 ) and Diego (8). He believes in the role of responsible parenthood to achieve inclusive education for children with autism
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One of Neowel Domínguez’s happiest moments as a father was when his son Marcos Alejandro kissed him for the first time at the age of 2. This may seem ordinary for other parents, or a joyful event that comes in the first months of life. However, for the families of autistic children, the first kiss is a glorious moment that comes after several months, or even years, and after a long learning process and a lot of love.
Neowel knows it. His oldest son was diagnosed with autism when he was four months old. Ever since then – or rather, since the beginning- the family has shared responsibilities and has had equitable participation in his upbringing. Then in 2012, Diego was born, and the love and responsibility increased.
Since 2017, UNICEF Cuba has implemented the communication strategy “Father from the Beginning, together with the country’s ministries of the Education and Health.
In Neowel’s opinion, every effort must be made to ensure his children’s wellbeing. As a father, he feels responsible for their healthy development and for ensuring they have everything they need.
“However, this is the easiest part in terms of responsibility. One has to take care of, educate and being with them. It is also necessary to teach them values, such as family and fraternal love, solidarity and friendship”.
That is why he does not make distinctions between himself and his children’s mother Yohania Mateu. He participates actively and constantly. One enriches the other. They are both always present for whoever needs it. They complement and support each other. “As a family, we focus on a common goal: passing down knowledge and formal education to our children, protecting and feeding them”.
Helping parents understand their rights, benefits and responsibilities from the early stages is among the main objectives of the strategy “Father from the Beginning”.
Co-responsibility is essential in this process: “Fathers need to understand we are not helping our wives when we do house chores. We have to share responsibilities and remove part of the huge burden mothers carry, so they have time to do other things or simply have some rest”.
Neowel acknowledges that having an autistic child can be challenging, but it is always an enjoyable parenting experience. “We can teach our children many skills and we can learn from them. It is a project you never take a break from. One always has to come up with an idea to fight for our children’s social inclusion and wellbeing”.
That is why he exchanges ideas about trades, domestic economy and other life skills with Marcos Alejandro and Diego.
He remembers when he was showing his oldest how to cross a street. It took many days, even months. He always stressed how he had to look both ways. “There were moments when I thought it would not work out, that I was making an effort in vain. Until one day when I was walking and not paying much attention and he suddenly stopped me by pushing his hand against my chest because there was a car approaching. His reaction was very fast. I almost could not believe it. I felt so happy and so proud. It taught me not to give up when it comes to teaching him something”.
“They have to take care of each other. I have taught them they should share even a cookie”
He also works every day to build a harmonious relationship between brothers. “They have to take care of each other. I have taught them they should share even a cookie. Each one knows the other must be present when there is a benefit to obtain or a challenge to face. I raise Diego’s awareness about his brother’s autism so he understands that his brother needs additional help and understanding. I also tell him he needs to care of his brother and pay attention to him. I always remind them both that they are the most important thing for each other”.
That is the secret: not giving up ever. “Never”, Neowel stresses. Sometimes we can spend months teaching things to Marcos Alejandro. When he did not want to talk and gestured to ask for things, we showed him step by step how to ask for water and to pick up the cutlery”.
And eventually, the rewards come: “One day, Marcos Alejandro wanted to save his cookies to eat them with his brother after we picked him up from school. These are little big things that make me feel at ease somehow. They keep me from giving up and inspire me to reinvent myself”.
