“My happiest moments are the ones I share with my daughter”

After the birth of his daughter Carolyn Fabiana (now 6 years old), the first spot on the agenda of journalist Flabio Gutierrez was taken forever. Since then, participating in all aspects of her upbringing, education and development is a priority he never compromises, regardless of the obstacles.

But it hasn’t been easy. As a divorced father, dealing with the process in a way that meant the least possible stress for the child has been –and still is– an enormous challenge: “We are very close, I was even the one who usually put her to bed, so I try to spend as much time as I can with her. Although our homes are quite far from each other, I’m the one who brings her to kindergarten, I bike to go see her and I pick her up too, since her mom and I have arranged it so that she regularly spends a few days with me”.

In that sense, “answering Carolyn’s questions and explaining to her for the first time that we no longer lived together was one of the hardest moments for me”, he confesses.

In fact, “her mother and I have had to reach agreements on this subject, always trying to make it easier for her to understand the situation and having the change not be too abrupt for her”, he explains.

That is clear for Flabio: providing a positive environment and emotional state for his daughter is crucial in order to guarantee her present and future well-being. To that end, he makes the most of every moment they share: “When she stays with me, I try to maintain her routines and usual schedules, and to have her eat healthy. And although my profession makes me have to work at home too, the time for that is after she’s gone to bed. Meanwhile, we watch cartoons together, we talk a lot, we go over what she learned at kindergarten, I play with her and I try to develop her liking for reading and exercise, and I’m teaching her to play chess”.

The arrival of COVID-19 allowed them to spend more time together, but it also brought new challenges in caring for the little one, as well as a great deal of fear: “One of the saddest days of my life was last March 11, when the girl tested positive for SARS-CoV-2. It was the only case in Holguín that day, although we had been very careful, both at my place and at her mom’s. I remember having cried, because Carolyn has asthma and we feared the evolution of the disease”, he recalls.

Although the child was completely asymptomatic and progressed very well, the fear of getting sick is still latent. “She no longer forgets to wash her hands whenever we come home from outside, and every time she touches surfaces or things; if we are outside the house, she remembers to wipe with hypochlorite or antibacterial gel. She has actually been left with some anxiety after the experience with the virus, so we try to pay attention to hygiene, but without having it become an obsession”, he comments.

Regarding this, Flabio is grateful for the training and exchange spaces on how to develop responsible parenting in times of pandemic. That’s why he participates every month in WhatsApp workshops along with more than 70 fathers from all of Cuba who, in turn, become message and content replicators. The sessions are part of UNICEF Cuba’s “Father from the Beginning” strategy, in coordination with the Ministry of Education’s “Educa a tu hijo” community social program. This non-institutional program, which recently celebrated its 30th anniversary, is aimed at boys and girls in early childhood, especially those who live in areas that are remote or hard to access.

“It is comforting to be able to listen to the views of specialists, to know the experiences of other fathers, to have reference materials, to exchange and learn together”, he says.

For him, being a father is a path of constant growth. “It requires dedication, sensitivity, love, understanding and a lot of preparation to make an adequate contribution to the integral development of our sons and daughters. My happiest moments are the ones I share with Carolyn. She makes me want to be a better father every day”