Why do babies cry?
Learn how to translate your child’s first language.
One lesson that new parents learn quickly is that babies tend to cry – a lot. Did you know that by the time babies are one month old, it is common for them to cry for two or more hours each day? But don’t worry, it is perfectly normal and as babies reach two to four months old the amount of crying should go down.
Although they can be exhausting, your baby’s cries are important and should be treated with great care. Read on to learn how to decode your new family member’s sobs and how to dry their tears.
Why is my baby crying?
Crying is how babies communicate their needs. Paying attention to your little one’s cries will help you to better understand and bond with your child. Instead of just trying to stop your baby’s tears, try to find out what caused them: When was the last time they ate or slept? Could they be wearing too much clothing or too little? The sooner you react, the sooner your baby will be soothed.
Babies cry for a number of reasons, including:
- Overstimulation
- Boredom
- Exhaustion
- Hunger
- Needing a nappy/diaper change
- Gas
- Needing to be held
- Feeling sick or in pain
- Feeling too hot or too cold
Did you know?
By around 4 months, your baby’s cries will start to sound different if they are hungry, in pain or tired.
What is colic?
Colic is when babies cry frequently for lengthy periods. If your baby is crying a lot (more than three hours a day, three days a week for at least one week), colic could be the issue. The precise causes of colic are unknown, but it’s common in many newborn babies. It can start when a baby is a few weeks old and usually will go away by six months. While it can be very worrying and stressful as a parent, be reassured that it is temporary and will pass.
Unfortunately, there may be little you can do but try to comfort your baby. Contact your health care provider if your baby continues to cry a great deal, you are worried about your baby or you’re finding it difficult to cope.
> Watch: Newborn baby health
What should I do if my baby cries at night?
If you have a newborn, they need to be looked after if you hear them crying at night. Letting your baby cry and ignoring them at this stage makes them feel that nothing they do makes a difference and they don’t matter to anyone. At this point, babies need to know they are loved and cared for.
Remember that young babies from newborn to four months are not capable of learning a routine at this age. Responding to their cues for feeding and comfort helps babies to feel secure and reduces the crying.
How can I calm my baby?
If you find yourself with a crying baby, try some of the following approaches to help soothe them:
- Feeding
- Checking their nappy/diaper and changing if needed
- Quietly singing and talking to your baby, or playing some gentle noises or music
- Rocking your baby gently or going for a walk
- Holding your baby close to your shoulder or chest
- Engaging in skin-to-skin contact by holding your baby to your bare chest
- Stroking your baby's back firmly and rhythmically while holding them against you or lying face down on your lap
Holding your baby when they are crying helps them to feel loved and secure, even if they don’t stop crying straight away.
How can I stay calm when my baby cries?
When your baby has been crying for some time, it can make you feel like crying too: especially if you are short on sleep. It is common to feel stressed and overwhelmed when dealing with a crying baby – you are not alone. Try your best to remain calm and be patient. Believe it or not, your baby can sense when you are tense.
Sometimes, even after it feels like you have tried everything, your little one will continue to cry. During times like this, it is okay to just gently hold your baby or, if possible, to ask another person for help. It is important to seek support from other caregivers you know and trust to help look after your own health. If you are feeling upset, put your baby in a safe place and take a short break (5-10 minutes) before coming back to try again.
No matter how upset you feel, never shake, hit or shout at your baby.
During this time, give yourself some space to calm down. Try:
- Listening to music
- Having a cup of tea
- Reading a book
- Calling a friend
- Talking to your partner or a family member
- Meditating or relaxation exercises
Do not be afraid to ask family and friends for help. Talk to other parents you know about their experience or give your child’s health care provider a call for advice. Find out if there are parent groups or parent support programmes, including counseling services, available where you live. These can be a great way to connect with others, share experiences and learn new parenting skills.
> Read: Mental health experts share their parent self-care tips
> Read: How to reduce stress
