Wherever they are – parents share similar joys and challenges
Mothers from Montenegro and Ukraine who want to improve their relationship with their children participated in the “Caring Families” programme in Budva
- Crnogorski
- English
Podgorica, 30 June 2023 – Although they grew up in different countries and cultures, parents from Montenegro and Ukraine share similar beliefs about the joys and challenges of parenthood.
They all want to learn how to balance their professional and household responsibilities while caring for their children and building strong relationships with them.
That is why they enrolled in the “Caring Families” programme implemented by the NGO Parents' Association at the Ukrainian Centre in Budva, with the support of UNICEF. This parenting programme helps them understand their children and their children’s emotions and find the right way to address certain issues.
“My son is a good pupil, but he is way too conscientious, so whenever he has a test, he cannot fall asleep the night before due to anxiety. I thought it would be enough to tell him, ‘Don’t worry, Petar, everything will be fine, now you have to sleep’,” says Milena Tomanovic, a mother of two.
She believed she was doing everything right but could not calm her son down and make his school days easier. Then, through the parenting programme, she learned to recognise and express emotions.
I started telling him, ‘I completely understand you, and I experience the very same feeling before important tasks. I was kind and open with him, I did not yell, and that let him open up too. Now he often says to me, ‘Do you understand me?’ and he is expecting my support.
In addition to the changes in behaviour she achieved through this programme, Milena found the exchange of opinions and experiences with other mothers particularly valuable.
“I found it especially interesting that we had mothers from Ukraine with us and that we faced the same problems, fears, and expectations. It is remarkable how we understand each other, even though we come from different places.”
Yulia Pron, who came to Montenegro from Ukraine last year, agrees with that. The war changed her life, and she decided to seek help from a psychologist.
In this group, I felt kindness and safety, so I was not afraid that I would be judged for expressing emotions or having problems with children because the challenges and successes are similar for Ukrainian and Montenegrin mothers.
Through this program, she learned to allow her son Kir to experience his emotions, not interfere in the process, and simply name the emotion for him.
“For example, his hesitation to go to kindergarten or to bed, his anger or resentment. Before the programme, both of us found these situations difficult, but now we accept them and handle them calmly,” Yulia explains.
Group facilitators Katarina Vukadinovic and Ivana Vuksic, found that the biggest challenge was creating a pleasant atmosphere and avoiding divisions based on language spoken by the parents. They were assisted by a Ukrainian interpreter from the “Good Deed” association.
“The participants showed understanding and patience; they expressed interest in each other’s culture and language. The fact that they realized that challenges are similar in both Montenegrin and Ukrainian families brought them closer together and fostered the sense of mutual support and encouragement,” said Katarina Vukadinovic, one of the programme facilitators.
“Mothers from Ukraine, who often suppress their emotions to avoid burdening their children, had the opportunity to share their experiences and convey to parents from Budva what they have been through. They could hear how to talk to children about war and admit how they feel. Through words and actions, the group showed that all feelings are valid and accepted,” said Ivana Vuksic, a programme facilitator.
“Caring Families” is part of a set of parenting programmes designed to promote positive relationships between children and parents. These programs were developed in collaboration between the World Health Organization, Stellenbosch and Cape Town Universities in South Africa, Oxford and Bangor Universities in the United Kingdom, and UNICEF.
This program has been implemented in Montenegro since 2018, and over a thousand parents from 12 municipalities have participated in it so far.
The introduction of this program was supported by the European Union, and the implementation of the mixed group in Budva was supported by UNICEF through HAC funds.
