“Not My Daughter, Not This Time”

In Central Lombok, West Nusa Tenggara province, 15-year-old Gita sits cross-legged on the floor of her home, her schoolbooks spread out before her. She studies intently, pen in hand, marking important notes. “I want to be a doctor so I can help myself, my family, and others,” she says.

Outside, the sun dips lower. Her father, Sarte, arrives home after a long day at a construction site. He is used to carrying heavy loads, but the biggest weight of the past year was not physical. It was resisting a tradition that threatened Gita’s dream for her future – twice. 

Gita’s community still practices merarik, a custom among the Sasak (indigenous people of Lombok Island in West Nusa Tenggara) where a prospective groom takes a prospective bride to his house to be hidden before the official wedding ceremony, after an agreement between both parties to marry. This often happens to girls before the age of 18.

The practice has begun to evolve, however, with some cases now involving arrangements made directly between the male’s family and the girl. In certain situations, the girl may be taken against her will and made to remain at the male’s home until her father provides consent for the marriage. 

For many families, merarik is considered an honourable tradition. For girls, it often means leaving school, facing health risks and losing control over their future.

Families who do not agree with the practice can pursue belas – a formal refusal of merarik, where the girl’s family asks for her return, supported by village leaders and authorities. 

When Gita was taken by a boy’s family the first time – without any agreement – Sarte panicked. “I kept thinking, she didn’t know anything yet,” he explains. “What if they got married and divorced after a month? What if she got pregnant? It’s dangerous at that age. Not my daughter, not this time.”

With the backing of Village Head Agus Karyadi, Sarte and his wife, Masnum, requested belas. It was accepted, and Gita returned home. 

Sarte did what many fathers in his community feel they cannot do. “I didn’t want Gita to be undervalued by men,” he says. “If she wants to marry later, let it be after she finishes school, after she has her diploma.”  

UNICEF continues to support the Government of Indonesia with implementing a national strategy for the prevention of child marriage, with a focus in South Sulawesi, West Nusa Tenggara and East Java provinces. The 2025 National Socio-Economic Survey (SUSENAS) shows a steady reduction of child marriage across Indonesia – from 10.35 per cent in 2020 down to 4.56 per cent in 2025. 

While child marriage has consistently declined in West Nusa Tenggara, it remains a challenge in the province, in part because merarik is still widely practised. According to the 2024 National Socio-Economic Survey (SUSENAS), child marriage prevalence in the province stands at 14.96 per cent, well above the national average.

Despite the formal refusal of the first merarik, Gita was again taken to by the same boy’s family while out with her cousin to buy snacks. Sarte and Masnum acted immediately, going through the belas process again, even though they expected more pressure and judgement. “I was afraid,” Masnum recalls. “But my decision was firm. I wanted my daughter back. I wanted her to finish school.”

What strengthened their resolve was the knowledge that Sarte gained earlier, at a community outreach session run by the Child Protection Agency (Lembaga Perlindungan Anak - LPA), that works to prevent child marriage across West Nusa Tenggara. 

Sarte learned about the risks of child marriage, including health complications, interrupted education and emotional harm. This information guided the family’s decision when it mattered most. 

The community sessions are part of the BERANI II programme (Better Reproductive Health and Rights for All in Indonesia) – a multi-year joint initiative led by the Government of Indonesia, in partnership with UNICEF, UNFPA, and UN Women, with support from the Government of Canada. 

BERANI II is designed to protect the rights of girls and women to access health services, make informed choices about their future, and live free from violence and discrimination. 

Through BERANI II, Gita’s village introduced stronger protections against child marriage, including new Child and Women Friendly Village regulations that make prevention a formal part of village governance.

These include clear referral procedures, so families and girls know where to turn if child marriage or violence risks arise. Village authorities, schools and local organizations are linked to provide rapid response and support.

The LPA leads regular community dialogues about child marriage prevention, engaging religious leaders, parents, teachers and community members. Parents, especially fathers, are also engaged in positive parenting sessions, where they are encouraged to play an active role in protecting their children.

The Child and Women Friendly Village regulations also aim to support girls who return to school after refusing early marriage, by outlining how girls should be assisted in settling back into school activities and protected from stigma or bullying.

After the second belas, Gita returned to her madrasah. The head of her school, Sarifah Sofia, insists that students who return after refusing marriage should not be punished socially. “We told the others, don’t bully them,” she says. “They should be respected for their courage.”

Gita’s friends also supported her. They shared notes, helped her catch up with schoolwork and made sure she was not isolated. 

The village-led measures are making it easier for families like Sarte’s to prevent child marriage, by creating systems where the prevention of child marriage is supported throughout the community. 

In addition to West Nusa Tenggara province, BERANI II is being implemented in South Sulawesi and East Java, where similar regulations are contributing to significant reductions in child marriage rates. The programme will be expanded to Papua provinces in 2026.

For Sarte, the goal now is simple: keep Gita safe and keep her learning. “I hope she becomes a person of integrity,” he says. “And finds success on her own terms.”