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Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse
Essential Information for Parents, Teachers, and Caregivers
- English
- العربية
1 in 8 children worldwide has experienced sexual abuse before the age of 18.
The number may seem shocking.
But what does sexual abuse mean?
Sexual abuse is the imposition of sexual (or sexually suggestive) acts on a child or adolescent, and it can be committed by an adult or another child.
There are two types of sexual abuse:
The first type: involves physical contact with the child, whether it is kissing, hugging, touching certain parts of the body, or engaging in sexual intercourse.
The second type: does not involve physical contact, but rather through forcing or encouraging the child to watch sexual content (such as pictures, videos, conversations, etc.), or real sexual scenes, or hearing or saying words with sexual content.
All children, regardless of their age or socioeconomic circumstances, are vulnerable to sexual abuse, and sometimes children may be exposed to it as a result of neglect or lack of awareness of the dangers of certain situations by caregivers (such as parents and teachers).
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The Abuser
What do child sexual abusers look like?
It is difficult to identify sexual abusers because they often do not show signs of suspicion, and in many cases, the abuser is the last person we would expect to commit this act because they are a family member or close friend and are considered a trusted person by the parents and the child.
The abuser can be:
- An adult or a child/adolescent.
- A man or a woman.
- A stranger or someone known to the child.
- Looking normal and well-adjusted in many aspects of their life (married, has children, has a good reputation at work, etc.).
Can a child abuse another child?
Yes, the abuser can be an older adolescent or someone with authority over other children or adolescents.
- Sometimes, the adolescent abuser is a former abuse victim, but that does not mean that any child who is a victim of sexual abuse will necessarily become an abuser or suffer from sexual deviations. This misconception is harmful to child victims of abuse.
- In this case, we provide psychological and social support and rehabilitation services to both parties, whether they are abusers or survivors.
How can I protect my children from sexual abuse?
Parental and child awareness is the foundation of protection. These principles should always be present in your mind while raising your children:
- Recognize the warning signs and red flags and pay attention to them, and communicate with places where the child is present (such as school, club, etc.) to ensure that there are safety and supervision mechanisms in place.
- Get to know the people in your child's life, especially those who interact with them daily or those who are close to them, and encourage them to talk to you about the people they love and trust in particular.
- Teach your child the principle of privacy, boundaries, and the concept of consent from an early age. It is acceptable to say "no" to anyone, even adults, if they do not want them to touch or hug them.
- Explain to your child that there are differences in secrets. Some secrets - like plans for a surprise birthday party - are safe and will not harm anyone by keeping them to ourselves, but if anyone asks us to keep what we do together a secret, especially from our parents, we must inform them immediately.
- Teach your child how to talk about their body, such as teaching them the real names of their body parts, emphasizing that it is normal and healthy to talk about all parts of the body, and that their body belongs to them alone.
- Reassure your child that they will not face any problems if they talk to you about any situation that happened to them, and tell them that children and adults are never responsible for the abuse that happens to them.
- Develop your child's sense of self-esteem, ask for their permission before making a decision that concerns them, and explain your reasons to them.
- Learn about available support and assistance resources, such as hotlines.
- Educate yourself about the sexual development of children and adolescents.
The Survivor
Why don't children and adolescents talk after experiencing abuse?
The abuser's various methods can affect the children's decision and ability to speak up and ask for help. The abuser may:
- Threaten the children (with photos of them, recorded calls, or private secrets that the parents don't know).
- Deceive the children that what is happening is a normal activity that everyone their age does or that it is a normal expression of love.
- Convince the children that this is a secret and that they should keep it, or that they enjoyed what happened, and this means that they agree and are not forced.
- Use enticement with toys, gifts, and praise (especially with deprived children).
- From the child's side, the child may not speak because of:
- Their incomplete understanding of what happened.
- Fear of punishment or losing the benefits they were receiving from the abuser (such as gifts and attention).
- Their desire to protect the abuser from harm (if they were a close person) or their family from breaking up (if the abuser was a family member).
How do I talk to my child after I find out they have been sexually abused?
- When parents and caregivers discover that their children have been abused, they often experience a range of emotions such as confusion, anger, terror, disgust, sadness, and betrayal.
- There are no right or wrong feelings, feelings are not discussed, but rather respected.
- However, it is important to follow these tips:
- Provide a safe and private place to talk, or engage in activities with the child or adolescent to enhance communication and the relationship and help them express themselves.
- Believe the child or adolescent.
- Remain calm, and if the person is angry or agitated and cannot control their emotions, they can wait until they are ready.
- Avoid interrogation and interrupting the child, give them space to talk, and never ask why the abuser did it.
- Ask them what they need and how they want to get their rights, being careful not to make promises that cannot be fulfilled.
- It is very important, before taking any step, whether it is reporting, reaching the abuser, or even a medical examination, to prepare the child and tell them what will happen and why, and obtain their consent.
- Do not force the child to do anything they do not want to do, or ask them to repeat the details.
- Do not tell anyone else unless you have the child's or adolescent's permission, explaining why you are telling others.
- Refer them to a specialist if necessary, and after discussing it with them.
- In some cases, parents will have to prepare the child for examination by a forensic doctor. Here is an example of what can be said in this case: "We are going to a place with doctors and nurses, we will meet a male or female doctor. First, the doctor or the female doctor will get to know us by our names and age, and what school you go to. Then they will want to check on us and know why we came; then you tell them what happened. If the doctor doesn't understand something, they will ask you. After that, they will want to examine your whole body from our head to our feet, to make sure there are no injuries or bruises, even if they are very small. Then they will ask you to check the part where you wear your swimsuit or shorts to see if there are any injuries or not. This is the doctor's job. I know you will be shy and scared at that time and this is very normal."
When do we seek help from a specialized psychologist?
- The appearance of psychological symptoms after the occurrence of abuse is normal for a certain period, and the understanding and support of parents for children and adolescents can gradually reduce the symptoms.
- However, in some cases, we must seek help from a specialized psychologist if the symptoms persist for more than a month without improvement, or if there is a deterioration in the symptoms before a month has passed, such as severe disorders that prevent the child from sleeping for more than one night, refusal to eat and complete isolation, suicidal thoughts or attempts, self-harm or harming others, and other actions that may pose a direct danger to the child or those around them.
What are the different reactions of children after sexual abuse?
The reactions of children and adolescents vary after experiencing sexual abuse. The reaction can be one or all of these feelings, and parents and caregivers should be aware of them and how to deal with them in a healthy way:
Fear & confusion
- Although they often do not fully understand what happened, feelings of fear and confusion are common among children after experiencing sexual abuse.
- Sometimes their fear of their parents' reaction is greater than their fear of the abuse or the situation itself.
- Therefore, it is important when children or adolescents turn to adults to talk to them calmly and with understanding about what they are going through and to make them feel that they are a support and not a source of fear or punishment.
Guilt or shame
- Children and adolescents may feel guilty and responsible for what happened to them, and ashamed if those around them know what happened to them.
- It is important to make them aware that the abuse is not their fault, but rather the fault of the abuser, who should be the one who feels shame, and that they are not responsible for what happened to them.
Sadness & isolation
- Sexual abuse can affect children's psyche, making them feel that they have lost a part of themselves, and change their understanding and view of the world, making them feel that it is an unsafe place.
- Sadness is a natural feeling after abuse, especially if the child was in a close relationship with the abuser. It is natural to be sad about this relationship, and the child may even feel that they caused problems for the abuser by talking about what happened and develop feelings of guilt because of their good feelings towards them.
- It is important to contain feelings of sadness, understand them, and give the child space to talk and express them in a healthy way.
Anger & helplessness
- Children may feel anger and helplessness because they were unable to stop the abuser or take their rights from them, or because the parents or those in charge of the place where the abuse occurred did not protect them as they should have.
- This anger can sometimes turn into energy to harm, whether the child harms themselves or others (or even weaker animals) trying to compensate for the feeling of helplessness.
- It is important to know that anger is a natural feeling, and that surviving children (and their families as well) have the right to feel angry, and that training them to control and deal with anger may take time.
- Parents can help children express their opinion on how to take their rights from the abuser and discuss it with them, and be prepared to listen to and accept everything the children say, even if it includes wishing harm and death to the abuser, and then explain to them what are the appropriate and inappropriate solutions.
The Legal Aspect
What are the forms of sexual violence in Egyptian law?
- Sexual harassment:
- By word, action, or gesture, even if it is on the Internet or by any technological means.
- Punishment: Imprisonment for a period of no less than 5 years and a fine, and the penalty increases if the harassment occurred in a workplace or transportation or by a group of people or if the harasser is carrying a weapon or repeated their act.
- Indecent assault:
- Any direct sexual assault on a child or adult, such as touching sensitive parts of their body even with the child's consent and without threats or coercion.
- Punishment: Aggravated imprisonment, and the penalty increases to life imprisonment if the victim is a child (under 18 years old) and the perpetrator is a relative of them, and the penalty reaches imprisonment if there is no threat or coercion and increases more if the child is under 12 years old or the perpetrator is one of their parents or those responsible for them.
- Rape:
- Complete sexual assault on a female without her consent. In the case that the sexual assault is from behind (through the anus), the law considers it indecent assault and not rape.
- Punishment: Death or life imprisonment, and if the victim is under 18 years old or if the rapist is a relative of her or those responsible for her or if the rape
- occurred by a group of people, the penalty is death only. The penalty reaches a maximum of 15 years imprisonment if the perpetrator is a child under 18 years old.
- Kidnapping:
- Taking a person from one place to another without their consent, whether by deception or by force.
- Punishment: Kidnapping a child without deception or force is punishable by aggravated imprisonment, and the penalty increases if the kidnapping is for ransom. If the kidnapping occurs with rape or indecent assault, the penalty is death or life imprisonment. The penalty is more severe if the kidnapping was by force or coercion.
- Trafficking and sexual exploitation:
- Selling and buying children or exploiting them sexually or in illegal activities.
- Punishment: The penalty is death or life imprisonment if the kidnapping was by force or coercion.
- If a child's organ is transferred, the penalty is aggravated imprisonment.
What if the child said they consented to the act?
- Legally, the consent of children and adolescents (those under the age of eighteen) to sexual assault is not considered valid, because:
- Children and adolescents are in a stage of physical, mental, and emotional development that does not qualify them to fully understand what they are consenting to, and here the element of consent is not valid.
- The child is often under the influence of the methods of control exercised by the abuser, which can affect their judgment and behavior.
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