Supporting children with depression, stress and anxiety

The last few years have created an extremely challenging environment for children — and feeling upset and worried is a natural response for them to have. 

These feelings may have continued for a long time, or even got worse as life has returned to ‘normal’ and children have struggled to adjust. 

In South Asia, many children and young people can also find it hard to talk to their parents about mental health because of stigma and generational differences.  

If your child is struggling, has lost their appetite, is having trouble sleeping or is anxious, talking with them openly and non-judgmentally about how they are feeling is an important first step to helping them through it. 

>> Read one family’s story of helping their child struggling with mental health 

"What is depression?"

Depression is one of the most common types of mental health conditions and often develops alongside anxiety.  

Depression can show up in children and adolescents as prolonged periods of unhappiness or irritability and loss of interest in regular activities. It is quite common among older children and teenagers, but often goes unrecognized. 

Depression can happen as a reaction to something like abuse, violence in school, the death of someone close or family problems like domestic violence or family breakdown. Someone might get depressed after being stressed for a long time. It can also run in the family. Sometimes we may not know why it happens. 

"How do I know if my child is depressed?" 

All children feel low or down at times, it’s a natural part of growing up. But these emotions can be worrisome when felt intensely over long periods of time, especially if they affect your child’s social, family and school life. 

It’s normal and healthy for children to experience a wide range of emotions. But pay attention if your child is regularly expressing that they are feeling sad. 

Some common symptoms of depression include: 

• Changes in weight 

• Trouble sleeping or too much sleeping 

• Unusual and persistent sadness or irritability 

• Sudden loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed 

• Withdrawal from others and loneliness 

• Sluggishness 

• Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness or guilt 

• Thoughts of or attempts at suicide or self-harm 

Only a doctor or a mental health professional can diagnose depression. Ask your health-care provider for advice if you are worried about your child. 

"How can I help a child who is showing symptoms of depression?" 

Depression can be treated and there are things you can do to help your child feel better: 

• Find out what’s happening: Ask your child how they’re feeling and in what situations they feel sad.  

• Listen carefully to what they say about how they feel — without judgment or advice.   

• Never push your child to share, instead, encourage other forms of creative expression like painting, crafts or journaling their thoughts.  

• Ask people you trust and who know your child (like a favourite teacher or close friend), if they’ve noticed anything that might be worrying about your child.  

• Help your child stay engaged throughout the day, with structure and an exciting routine that has a mix of activities — including fun, leisure, play, learning, daily chores and time for family, sleeping and rest. 

• Teach them relaxation exercises, like deep breathing, and practice them together. 

• Encourage positive habits: Help your child stick to regular eating and sleeping habits and stay active. Physical activity and music are both great ways to boost their mood.  

• Protect them from stressful surroundings: Try to keep your child away from situations where they may experience excessive stress, maltreatment or violence.  

• Create an environment of positivity and warmth at home to help your child feel relaxed and supported. Tell them that you love and support them. Try listening to songs together that make them feel positive about life and get involved in their favourite activities with them. 

• Reassure your child as often as possible: Ask how they are doing and encourage them to come to you whenever they are upset. Let them know that you will do your best to help them. 

• Spend quality time with them: Take an interest in your child’s life, (like how their day was at school or what they love most about their friend) and do activities together that they will enjoy. Put your phone and other devices away to minimize distractions and help you be fully present for them. 

• Take care of yourself: If you are happy, it helps your family be happy too. 

"When should I seek help for my child’s depression from a mental health professional?" 

Depression can be treated and the sooner you speak to an expert, the sooner your child can feel better.  

It’s important to know that children and adolescents who experience depression are at greater risk of self-harm and suicide. However, this is preventable when appropriate support is provided. 

Seek support from a mental health professional if: 

• Your child is showing symptoms of depression for more than two weeks 

• There is a major change in your child’s sleeping and eating habits 

• Your child talks about, or tries to, run away from home. 

Seek help from a mental health professional immediately if: 

• Your child starts to abuse substances/drugs  

• Your child has self-harmed or is having suicidal thoughts and behaviours. 

>> More information on depression can be found here. 

"What is anxiety?" 

Anxiety is the feeling you get when you’re worried or scared about something. Small amounts of worry and fear can help keep us safe. But sometimes anxiety can make us feel like things are worse than they are and stop us from doing things we enjoy or living life fully.  

Anxious children tend to need constant reassurance from their parents and caregivers. They may also be quiet and eager to please. This means their condition can be easy to miss. 

Signs and symptoms of anxiety in children include: 

Physical

• Shortness of breath, headaches or feeling faint 

• A racing heart and sometimes high blood pressure 

• Feeling fidgety, trembling or feeling weak in the legs 

• Feeling sick in your stomach – cramps, diarrhoea or frequent visits to the bathroom 

• Having trouble sleeping or a reduced appetite 

• Dry mouth, excessive sweating or feeling hot.  

Emotional and mental

• Struggling to focus on things 

• Feeling panicky, nervous or on edge 

• Feeling overwhelmed or a sense of dread 

• Feeling out of control in a situation 

• Feeling tired and grumpy. 

Be alert to the signs of anxiety so you can seek help and care for your child early if needed. Remember, feelings of anxiety among children are preventable and can be managed. 

"How can I help my child cope with anxiety?" 

Explore the feeling together: Ask your child to tell you what is happening when they feel anxious. (How do they feel? How long does the feeling last? What might be the reason for feeling anxious?) Remind them that the feeling will pass. 

Help them shift their focus to the present moment: You can ask questions like, “What would you like to have for dinner?” or ask them about some of the things they can see and smell around them. 

Help them get enough sleep:  

Experts recommend

• Children aged 6-12 have 9-12 hours of sleep a night. 

• Teenagers have 8-10 hours of sleep a night.  

Limit their screentime at night to help them sleep better: Consider making their bedroom a device-free zone.  

Help them do belly breathing:  When we’re anxious we can forget to breathe deeply. Belly (abdominal) breathing is very calming and helps us to draw oxygen deep into our lungs. Here’s an easy 3-step process you can teach your child to do: 

• Place your hand on your stomach 

• Take 5 deep breaths – spend 5 seconds breathing in and 5 seconds breathing out, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth 

• Explain that when your child inhales, they are blowing up their tummy softly like a balloon, and when they exhale the air is going slowly out of the balloon again. 

"When should I seek help for my child’s anxiety from a mental health professional?" 

If anxiety is impacting your child’s daily life, speak to your health-care provider about your child’s symptoms and the best options for them. 

Your child can also call one of the child helplines (listed above) to speak to a trained counsellor.  

>> More information on anxiety and how to support your child  

*The photos used in this article feature actors.