4 ways parents can protect their mental well-being during a crisis
Tips for parents and caregivers on staying calm when handling a crisis
When a disaster or tragedy occurs, parents are often so focused on taking care of their families, that they do not take the time to take care of themselves — or deal with their own shock or response to the event.
Remember, that adults can be most helpful if they take care of themselves and get help for their own distress, since children may respond to adults’ feelings and reactions.
For the sake of yourself and your children, it’s important that you prioritize your own self-care and mental well-being. This will help you cope better in the immediate and long term and better support your children.
Try to remain calm yourself
During emergencies, children look to adults for guidance on how to act and respond. This is why one of the best ways to keep children calm during a crisis, is to keep calm yourself.
One way to do this is by focusing on your breath. Breathing exercises and techniques are a powerful way to calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety and stress.
‘Belly breathing’ or ‘diaphragmatic breathing’ is a simple breathing exercise that helps you draw oxygen deep into your lungs. Here’s an easy 3-step process you can teach your child to do:
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Place your hand on your stomach.
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Take 5 deep breaths – spend 5 seconds breathing in and 5 seconds breathing out, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
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Explain that when your child inhales, they are blowing up their tummy softly like a balloon, and when they exhale the air is going slowly out of the balloon again.
This will not only show your children that you are still in control, but it will also teach them how to handle stressful situations in a thoughtful way.
Managing your feelings
In the aftermath of a traumatic incident, you may experience a range of different feelings, and they can change radically and unexpectedly.
Your feelings might include:
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Numbness, emptiness, a sense of being unreal, having altered perceptions.
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Anger, agitation, restlessness, a sense of being charged up (due to the natural production of adrenaline and other stress hormones).
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Sadness, tearfulness.
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Fear, anxiousness.
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Terror, paranoia.
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Nervousness, embarrassment, shame.
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Guilt, feeling that you did something wrong or let others down.
Strong physical and emotional reactions, known as emotional aftershocks, can come at any time after a shocking event. They may be immediate of appear hours or days later.
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Be patient with your emotional state. Remember that it’s normal to experience mood fluctuations after a trauma.
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Allow yourself time and space to express your feelings about what happened.
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Talk about it. Spend time talking with other adults who will understand what you are going through.
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Be aware that while loved ones can be great sources of support, they may be overwhelmed with emotions if they experienced the same event. If this is the case, you may want to find out about local support groups or counselling services where you are.
If you do not feel better and are struggling to cope 28 days after the traumatic experience, it’s important to seek support from a mental health professional.
Pay particular attention to the following symptoms:
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You feel that you cannot manage the intensity of your feelings.
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You continue to experience distressing thoughts and/or physical symptoms.
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You continue to have nightmares or seriously disturbed sleep.
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You are using increased amounts of alcohol or drugs.
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Your moods and behaviours are hurting your relationships with others.
If you are struggling with any of these symptoms and finding it difficult to function in daily life, it is important to contact a mental health professional.
Look after your body
To help you heal, it’s important to look after both your body and your mind. The body and mind are directly related to each other — and by helping one you help the other.
Here are some tips:
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Eat a healthy diet, with lots of fruits, vegetables and fresh ingredients.
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Drink a lot of water.
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Aim to get 8 hours of sleep.
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Take time for yourself to do things that you enjoy.
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Exercise.
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Spend time outdoors, go for a walk in nature.
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Practice yoga and meditation.
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Avoid using alcohol and drugs to improve your mood.
Avoid making major life decisions
While it may be tempting to move or change jobs after a traumatic event, it’s usually best to avoid making major life decisions during times of stress and turmoil.
If you are having difficulty functioning or are unable to perform daily tasks, consult with a doctor, counsellor or mental health professional.
>> More advice on caring for yourself and your children after a traumatic event.
