The project of students from Vitebsk

A schoolgirl brought a dog home, and her parents are against pets. A teenager can't get along with their brother in the same room. A girl fell in with a bad crowd and asks for advice. A young man has a protracted conflict with his parents over poor grades.

Every day, high school students Konstantin Barsukov, Alexander Mashuk and Natalia Kuznetsova from Vitebsk Gymnasium No. 1 monitor messages in the "ABC of solving teenage conflicts" Telegram channel to help their peers. It's enough to just talk to someone and show sympathy. For others, it may be helpful to offer a useful psychological exercise. The Telegram channel created by teenagers is a part of the project of the same name, which was included in the list of winners of the Republican training on social design UPSHIFT.

It is a methodology that teaches teenagers to identify, study and understand problems in local communities, and then create effective project solutions in the form of products, digital solutions or services. It also helps to develop social innovation and entrepreneurial thinking skills. This also includes communication skills, problem solving, critical thinking, financial literacy, and budgeting. Such a program has been implemented in Belarus since 2019. This year it was dedicated to the topic of psychological well-being and implemented by the Institute of Psychology of the Belarusian State Pedagogical University in cooperation with the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) in Belarus.

The popularity of the Telegram channel created by teenagers is slowly growing; friends, acquaintances, and other students of the gymnasium join it. It becomes a place where one can get psychological first aid from your peers.

"We, a group of gymnasium volunteers, received special training to help our students to cope with psychological challenges. Of course, if we see that the situation is serious, we suggest contacting a professional psychologist. For example, the talk2ok.by platform, where one can talk to a specialist for free in the format of online consultations. The most important thing we try to convey to our peers is the importance of asking for help. For some reason, people are afraid to contact psychologists. But if one accumulates resentments, inner pain, it has a detrimental effect on psychological health and will inevitably lead to a breakdown."

When the teenagers were invited to participate in the UPSHIFT training, there was no doubt about the choice of the project topic. Constantly communicating with the students of the gymnasium, the team members understood that one of the most pressing psychological problems of the younger generation is the inability to behave in conflict situations.

"When I was professionally engaged in taekwondo, I often got into similar stories," Alexander shares, "There were fighting boys, some of them considered themselves stronger and better than others, and they could use a harsh word and show their physical strength. If I had known then how to answer correctly, many problems and showdowns could have been avoided."

"The usual reaction in a state of conflict is to be rude in response, slam the door, get offended and “close up”, people stop hearing each other," Konstantin adds, "After all, no one teaches us how to talk properly in a quarrel. And we propose to act wisely! With our project, we want to teach teenagers to understand themselves, the emotions of a loved one and give ready-made solutions for various conflict situations. And they are inevitable; there are 30 students in school forms, everyone has different personality, teenagers often sort things out with their parents, with teachers."

Having analysed what conflicts most often occur in the adolescent environment, three sections appeared in the coaching book on different areas of conflict situations: teenager-parent, teenager-teacher, teenager-teenager. Each section contains a real video story of a teenager.

"It was important for us that our peers tell real stories in the videos, because they all happen in the life of almost every teenager. We wanted the students to see that they are not alone! That others also hear from their parents the phrase “But our neighbor Petya ... is not like you!”, “But I used to...”, “How are you behaving? I would never do that...” We invite readers of the coaching book to step away from a situation and think about why parents, peers or teachers act in a certain way."

Each section of the coaching book is structured according to the same principle. First, a reader gets acquainted with the video story of a teenager, then passes the test. For example, on the topic “Do your parents understand you?” Then there are exercises on art therapy to work out emotions and recommendations on the topic "how to negotiate with parents correctly". This is how the conflict situation is considered comprehensively.

"What do you think is the main stumbling block in the teenager-parent relationship?"

"Personal protest, unwillingness to agree to the conditions set by adults. Many parents are not ready for their child's growing up, they are busy with their own affairs and devote little time to joint communication, impose personal experience and often their own ambitions," Alexander believes, "I know real stories among peers when parents insist on studying in a certain specialty, but the child has completely different dreams, and he or she is not heard. A simple mess in a teenager's room also often worries parents and becomes a topic for conflict."

"And my mother works at our gymnasium," Natasha enters the conversation, "And I have come across a situation where parents make excessive demands that children study well, be perfect in everything... Now I have learned how to overcome this and work through my resentments, and I am ready to teach this to others. In particular, thanks to the exercise "My resentment in the form of transport", which is included in the coaching book.  You have to think of a resentment you are experiencing right now or have experienced in the past, and concentrate on the feelings that arise.  Then, on a horizontal A4 sheet, draw any vehicle in any part of it, then a flag, a natural landscape and draw a dotted line from the vehicle to the flag. In our coaching book, we give a detailed explanation of how to interpret the resulting drawing. For example, if one has drawn a forest as a landscape, it means that the person has a need to talk through the situation many times.  If it is a desert, one has a desire to be alone. If one has drawn clouds in the picture, it means that the person is going into a "child's position" and does not want to take responsibility."

"We hope that our “ABC of solutions” will help teenagers develop useful skills of correct behavior in conflict situations. Moreover, we recommend using it not only at the moment when the situation has already happened, but before, so that you can immediately respond to it correctly."

To date, all materials for the production of the coaching book are ready. The team plans to release 100 printed copies, and actively promote the online version.

"The participants of the UPSHIFT training team from our gymnasium are a group of volunteer instructors who have been trained under the guidance of teachers and psychologists within the framework of the project “Testing a model for creating a friendly and supportive environment”. Each stage of the teen project was tested on gymnasium students. We are already implementing the coaching book in our educational institution. The interest in the project on the part of high school students allows us to hope that it is promising, and most importantly, it will be useful to teenagers, whom our team will be able to help to cope with raging emotions and teach constructive interaction with others," Vasilina Kuznetsova, Deputy Director for Academic Affairs at Vitebsk Gymnasium No. 1 is sure, "Of course, this is not a universal remedy for conflicts, but it can motivate teenagers to self-knowledge and support them in a difficult situation. And if our volunteers will be able to help at least one person, this is already a result."

"Why is it important that such projects for teenagers are created by their peers?"

"Everything that was done by the teenagers themselves on their own initiative is priceless. I believe that such projects are the most effective, as they are created "for themselves and about themselves", and therefore understandable and interesting to teenagers. I myself had great pleasure working on the project "The ABC of solving teenage conflicts" together with gymnasium students. It helped me, as an adult, to return to my childhood. And to realise that the same teenage problems that we experienced are experienced by modern teenagers: parents do not hear, teachers underestimate, peers do not understand… However, today there is much more information on the topic of psychology, it is simpler and more accessible. Any teenager can engage in self–discovery, get qualified help and, most importantly, knows where to ask for help. One cannot escape from teenage worries. It is necessary to learn to overcome this difficult period, mastering the skills of constructive interaction, and maintain psychological well-being."