How to prepare your child for a new sibling
Create a loving, safe environment for everyone.
Welcoming a new family member is a special time, but it can be challenging for older siblings who may worry about the changes a baby will bring. Follow our tips to help make your baby’s homecoming an inclusive and joyful experience for everyone.
Preparing for baby
For 1-2 year olds
If your older child is very little themselves, there are still ways you can help prepare them for the arrival of their new sibling:
- Talk about the new baby with enthusiasm.
- If you’ve chosen a name for your new addition, use it with your child to help them become familiar with it.
- Read or tell stories about becoming a big brother or sister and bringing a new baby home.
- Try engaging in pretend play so they have a baby to take care of too.
For 2-4 year olds
- Talk to them about how the family is going to grow, and how they will be a big brother or sister.
- Prepare them in advance for your birth plan and explain to them what they will be doing during that time.
- Try to include them in any preparations for the baby. Tell them what a great helper they are!
- If you need to make any big changes such as moving them to another room or going from a crib to a new sleeping arrangement, try to do that before the baby comes to avoid overwhelming them.
For school-aged children
- Talk to them about the baby coming in age-appropriate language. Be honest about what it will be like, including the positives (sweet snuggles!) and the not-so-positives (lots of crying!).
- If you have friends or family members with a baby, spend time with them so your child can get used to what it’s like having a baby around.
- Include your older child in age-appropriate tasks to get ready for the baby, such as picking out books to read together or planning activities to do with the baby.
- Talk to them about what they were like as a baby by telling stories and looking through photos.
After baby arrives
No matter your child’s age, welcoming a new family member can bring a mixture of joy and jealousy. To ease the transition, try age-appropriate ways of:
Including your older child in the homecoming. Ask if they would like to bring new pictures of the baby to school or tell friends and family members about the new baby.
Involving them in the baby’s care. Find ways to include your child in caring for their new sibling, like bringing nappies/diapers if they are younger or changing nappies/diapers if they are older.
Praising positive behaviour. Tell them what a great big brother or sister they are when you notice them being loving toward your new baby.
Giving them extra attention. Set aside special one-on-one time for your older child as much as you are able. This will help them to feel loved and cared for during such a huge change. Your other family members who are close with your older child, like grandparents, can do this too.
Managing jealous feelings
For toddlers and preschoolers, it is common to see some changes in their behaviour after bringing their new sibling home. You may see:
- Crying and yelling
- Regressive behaviour, such as behaving like a baby or forgetting toilet training
- Waking during the night
>> Read: What is childhood regression?
How to support your child and manage challenging behaviour
To help your child adjust, try:
- Praising positive behaviour
- Involving them as much as is age appropriate with your new baby’s care
- Praising how much they have learned and grown since they were babies
- Spending as much one-on-one time together as possible
Remember, it is natural that it takes some time for children to adjust to having a new sister or brother, so being patient and understanding with your older child will help make this transition a success for everyone.
