A single mother’s journey to rebuild her family from broken bonds to unbreakable ties

Boama, Sierra Leone - Isata Ogbogie sits on a wooden stool on her veranda in the quiet village of Baoma Koya, Sierra Leone, reflecting on a turbulent chapter in her life, a chapter that nearly destroyed her family. Her relationship with her eldest daughter, Fanta, was once filled with tension, anger, and regret.

It all began when Isata’s husband walked out, leaving her to care for their five children alone. The weight of single motherhood bore down heavily on her. “When he left, I felt abandoned,” she says, her voice tinged with lingering pain.

Her frustration wasn’t just about losing her husband; it was about the financial and emotional strain of raising five children by herself. “I sell cooked food at the market to support my family,” she explains. “It’s not enough, but I try my best to ensure my children have what they need to attend school.”

Overwhelmed by her circumstances, Isata lashed out in ways she now deeply regrets. “I was frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed. I took it out on my children, especially Fanta,” she admits. “I used to call her demeaning names.’ When I beat her, she would leave the house and stay away for days. She was terrified of me.”

Isata’s temper alienated her children. “My relatives took them because of my behaviour,” she recalls, “I was losing everything.”

Fanta, who was just 12 years old when her father left, bore the brunt of her mother’s anger. That same year, she dropped out of school and distanced herself from Isata.

The turning point came when Isata joined the Positive Parenting Programme, which is led by Defence for Children International (DCI) with support from UNICEF. The programme teaches parenting skills to create nurturing and supportive family environments.

“At first, I didn’t think it would help,” she admits. “But the sessions opened my eyes. I realized that my children didn’t need me to be angry; they needed me to be patient and loving.”

Through weeks of training, Isata began to reflect on her actions. Determined to make a change, she approached Fanta, apologized for her behaviour, and promised to be a better mother. “It wasn’t easy,” she says. “But I kept talking to her, drawing her closer. Slowly, she began to trust me again.”

The transformation was profound. Fanta returned home, and with Isata’s encouragement, she re-enrolled in school. Now 15, she is in class six, preparing for her National Primary School Exams. Fanta dreams of becoming a nurse, a dream Isata is determined to support.

“I don’t make much money, but I will do whatever it takes to keep her in school,” Isata says with quiet determination, “My children’s future is worth every sacrifice.”

Rebuilding her relationship with Fanta also paved the way for her other children to return home. “We have peace now,” she says with a smile. “I’ve learned that all children need is love and care. Adolescence is such a difficult stage, but I know now that patience and understanding are the only way to reach them.”

Violent discipline is widespread in Sierra Leone. According to MICS 2017, 86.5 per cent of children have experienced violent discipline in the household, which harms their emotional, psychological and physical development. UNICEF has been working with the Ministry of Social Welfare to reach more parents and caregivers through the national Positive Parenting Education Programme (PPEP). Since the curriculum was developed, over 18,000 parents and caregivers have been trained on positive parenting with support from the UNFPA-UNICEF Global Programme to End Child Marriage and Peacebuilding Fund. The PPEP has not only improved relationships between parents and children but has also positively impacted communities.

Isata has become an advocate in her community, sharing her experiences with other parents. “When I see someone about to beat their child, I step in,” she says. “I tell them what I’ve learned that harsh treatment only pushes children away. What they need is our guidance, not our anger.”

Reflecting on her journey, Isata acknowledges the strength it has taken to rebuild her family. “Being a single parent is one of the hardest things anyone can go through. When my husband left, I felt like I had no one. But I’ve learned that no matter how difficult life gets, my children need me to be strong.”

As Fanta studies for her exams, Isata watches her with pride. “She says she sings praises to God and DCI for bringing us back together,” she says. “But I praise her, too. She didn’t give up on me, even when I gave her every reason to.”

For Isata and her family, the scars of the past remain, but they are healing. Together, they are building a future grounded in love, patience, and resilience. “I want my children to know that I will always be here for them, no matter what!” she says.