How social media keeps children’s attention

If you are a parent of an adolescent or teen, you may have noticed that they spend a large amount of their time on their phone.

It’s not surprising. It’s by design.

We spoke to digital parenting expert Dr. Jacqueline Nesi about some of the design features commonly found on social media apps that keep children (and adults!) glued to their screens – and what parents can do about it.

How do social media apps try to keep children and teens engaged?

Jacqueline Nesi: There are many design features that social media apps employ to keep children and teens engaged. These include features like infinite scroll (a feed that never ends), auto-play (videos that automatically play, one after another), notifications, and numerical counts (like "streaks," views, and likes). These features make it more likely that kids (and adults!) will spend longer on the platforms, and will keep coming back to them.

What are social media algorithms? How do they work, and what should every parent know about them?

Jacqueline Nesi: There is a lot we do not know about how social media platforms algorithms are configured, because this information is kept private by many of the companies. However, we do know that many social media platforms have designed their algorithms to maximize engagement and time spent on the platform. This means that, as we interact with a platform, the algorithm "learns" what type of content is going to keep us more engaged – which types of videos we will watch for a longer period of time, what photos will we swipe through – and then shows us more of that content.

The use of an algorithm in itself is not necessarily problematic. An algorithm could also be used, for example, to maximize content that is educational or age-appropriate. However, parents should know that many of the algorithms used by social media companies are not designed to maximize for kids' well-being: They are designed to maximize for engagement, which can make it harder for kids to log off.

Why are children at greater risk of manipulative design than adults? 

Jacqueline Nesi: Children are still developing self-regulation abilities, and this can make it very hard to put down devices or stop using social media when those features are testing self-regulation abilities. When it comes to adolescents, they may be more sensitive to rewards, particularly ones that are "social" (for example, "likes" or "views" from peers), which can make it difficult to pull themselves away.

There are also very real social implications for youth – for many teens, the majority of their peers are exchanging messages or otherwise interacting on social media. It makes sense that a child will feel left out if they are not part of that. This happens to adults, too, but children and teens may be more sensitive to that, given the importance that peer relationships play in development.

What evidence exists linking social media and health? What gaps still exist?

Jacqueline Nesi: Scientists are continuing to work on understanding the question of how social media use affects children and teens' mental health. What we do know is that the impact of social media really depends on how it is used, and that it differs significantly across children.

Some children, particularly those who may be vulnerable due to existing mental health concerns or other emotional challenges, are at higher risk of harm from using social media platforms. For others, social media poses less of a risk, particularly if we are guiding and educating them toward using social media in healthier ways.

For all kids, we want to make sure that social media use is not taking the place of other activities that are important for mental health – like sleep, physical activity and building social relationships.

> Read: Teen mental health and social media

What are some of the signs that social media use has become problematic for a child?

Jacqueline Nesi: The biggest factor to consider here is whether social media is starting to interfere with other aspects of a child’s life. Is it causing them significant problems, and yet they are not able to stop? Is it preventing them from engaging in other important activities, like sleep or completing schoolwork?

How can parents support their children if they are concerned about how much time is spent on social media?

Jacqueline Nesi: I would consider taking three steps as a parent:

The first, and most important, is communication. Ask questions of your child. Try to get curious as to why they are spending so much time on social media. Talk to them about the design features that are designed to make it hard to log off. Try not to come to these conversations from a place of judgment or blame, but rather to increase understanding and express your concerns.

Second, I would consider trying to set boundaries. Engage with your child around what these boundaries should be – how much time is appropriate? What other activities do they want to be doing that social media may be interfering with? What times of day or locations is social media off limits?

Finally, I would think about trying to be a role model. What is your own social media use like? We know that parents' use of tech plays a role in children's use of tech, so making sure to model what we want to see in our kids is really important.

What kind of family rules around social media can help create healthy habits?

Jacqueline Nesi: Rules can be very important. But before we set rules, I would advise parents to take a step back and think about their values. What is important to them? What kind of home do they want to create for their child, and what kinds of activities do they want to prioritize? This can then help guide decisions about social media.

I would then encourage parents to think about their relationship with their child. Rules work best when they are set with a foundation of healthy, collaborative communication with their child: When we provide rationale for our way of thinking about social media, and when kids feel they have a voice in the conversation.

With all that in place, parents can then think about time spent (How much time is okay to spend on social media? What times of day are off limits?), content shared (What is and is not okay for your child to post?), content viewed (What types of content should they try to avoid?) and contact rules (Who can they talk to online?).

> Read: 10 ways to create healthy digital habits at home

Do you have any advice for parents whose children haven’t started using social media yet?

Jacqueline Nesi: In general, I would encourage parents to consider delaying kids' introduction to social media, and when they do, to introduce it slowly, with plenty of boundaries in place.

The responsibility to keep children safe online should not be on parents alone! We're living at a challenging time right now for parents, where we have so many of these digital tools at our disposal, but we don't have the guardrails in place to make sure they are safe and healthy for young people. It's as if we have cars, and kids are driving them, but we do not yet have seatbelts, driver's education, carseats and other essential safety features. The companies who build these technologies, and the regulators who keep them in check, also have a responsibility to make this easier for parents and safer for kids.

For more tips on navigating parenting in the digital age, visit our Digital parenting guide.

Jacqueline Nesi, PhD is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University. She conducts research on the role of social media in adolescents' mental health and development. She is a mother and the author of the weekly newsletter Techno Sapiens, and co-creator of Tech Without Stress, a course to help parents raising kids in the digital age.