Supporting families through loss

When Public Health Nursing Sister R. Dhaarmika first met Ruska, she immediately saw a mother carrying an overwhelming burden.

Ruska, a resident of Wellawatte in capital Colombo and a mother of three at the time, had experienced the heartbreaking loss of two of her children. While grieving these losses, she was also pregnant with her fourth child. The trauma had left her withdrawn and unable to talk about what had happened.

“When we first visited her, she barely spoke,” Dhaarmika recalls. "Every question brought back painful memories. It was clear that what she needed first was not advice, but someone to listen."

Using skills gained through the Caring for the Caregiver (CFC) programme, supported by UNICEF Australia, Dhaarmika and Public Health Midwife Shayama Hemamali Wickramasinghe focused on creating a safe and supportive environment for Ruska.

They used simple tools shared during the CFC programme to help Ruska identify trusted people who could support her and to help her family better understand the emotions she was experiencing. These conversations encouraged patience, compassion and reassurance at a time when the family needed it most.

Healing took time.

During regular home visits, Shayama helped Ruska understand that grief does not disappear overnight, but that it is possible to gradually learn to live with it. Together, they practiced breathing exercises to manage overwhelming emotions and discussed simple daily activities that could support her wellbeing during pregnancy.

The support also extended to Ruska's husband, who was grieving the loss of his children while trying to support his wife.

"Fathers experience loss too," Shayama says. "He also needed someone to listen."

Through counselling sessions and family discussions, both parents were encouraged to share their feelings openly and support one another. Simple tools, including emotion cards, helped the family talk about emotions that had previously remained unspoken.

For Ruska, knowing she was not alone made all the difference.

Ruska's experience highlights why caring for caregivers is so important. While pregnancy and childbirth often focus on physical health, emotional wellbeing can be just as critical, particularly for parents coping with loss, trauma or uncertainty. By equipping frontline health workers with the skills to listen without judgement, recognize signs of distress and provide compassionate support, the Caring for the Caregiver programme helped ensure Ruska received the understanding and reassurance she needed at one of the most difficult times in her life.

Caring for caregivers is not only about supporting mothers, fathers and families. It is also about supporting the health workers who care for them every day. Through the CFC programme, frontline workers like Dhaarmika and Shayama gained practical skills and greater confidence to respond to emotional distress while also strengthening their own resilience. For them, Ruska's story is a reminder that healing often begins with someone taking the time to listen and that when caregivers themselves are supported, they are better able to help families navigate life's most difficult moments.