Children First, Winter 2007: Expanding My Family (1)

Good child rearing practices are necessary

Good child rearing practices, though unarguably effective for both the child and his or her family, are unfortunately not common enough in today’s world and Turkey is no exception: a MONE and UNICEF–supported baseline study in 2003 underlined many of the reasons why parenting skills among Turkish parents should be supported, the lack of which can otherwise hinder the development potential of their children during the earliest years.

The study showed that 47% of mothers learn child rearing practices from their own mothers and the percentage increases to 63% for those mothers who have not benefited from a basic education. The same study also revealed that 67% of mothers do not take their children for regular check–ups and that 80% of that group do not see it as a necessity to do so. Furthermore, 53% of mothers taking part in the study would attempt to discipline their children with physical punishment whereas only 12% would attempt to resolve issues through discussion.

The My Family training programme

The My Family package has been developed under the umbrella of the Early Childhood Development (ECD) project component within Children First. The package was originally designed to positively influence parental behaviour towards children under the age of six and an estimated 100,000 parents have been trained to date. These trained parents are expected to share their knowledge on parenting with at least two other relatives or close friends. Tests following implementation of the package showed that parents participating in the training spend more time with their children, take their children to health centres for regular check–ups and use less physical punishment. These results have been corroborated by subsequent monitoring and evaluation.

Esat Sağcan, MONE General Director of Apprenticeships and General Education notes that:

Specialists researching the effectiveness of My Family have documented the fact that children from families who have benefited from training in communication skills and positive discipline methods tend to be more successful in their studies as they progress to further education.

Positive results

As the My Family package expands, it is clear that mothers are finding the programme useful and effective in bringing about positive change in parent–child relationships. Tuğba Gürsoy, the mother of two–year–old Umut, heard about My Family through a friend. She joined the training programme at her local Adult Education Centre, having noticed that her friend’s attitudes and general behaviour towards her children had changed very much for the better:

Our teacher was very capable and experienced and she opened a whole new world for us: from the beginning I learned to listen to my child and accept that he is not just my son but that he is an individual and he should be able to express himself properly.

It makes me very happy to hear the mothers sharing their experiences during the group sessions, says one trainer.

For example, three different mothers mentioned how their children had previously been wetting their beds at night but they resolved the problem using hints and tips from the green booklet.

The green booklet is a user–friendly manual entitled What’s the best way I can raise my child? which is distributed to parents participating in the programme. The booklet outlines child rearing practices including toilet training, sleeping habits, positive discipline, communication skills and so forth.

One mother, who unfortunately had never benefited from even a basic education, still had enough confidence after completing her My Family training to contact the police when her neighbour’s child ran away from home. By doing so, she helped find the child before he managed to leave town.

Breaking bad habits

An important aspect of My Family training involves debunking the received notions, attitudes and disinformation of traditional parenting that can cause real harm: One mother had heard that the tetanus vaccination could possibly make her barren so she avoided taking this very important pre–natal precaution, says one trainer. But during the training she came to understand that she had been misled by an unfounded rumour and she had the vaccination.

Another mother would do anything her children asked of her under the mistaken assumption that she was being kind to them. But still she couldn’t seem to keep them happy since she was effectively spoiling them. She learned from the training that effective parenting involves more than simply conceding to a child’s every whim. More importantly, she came to understand that both the mother and father need to communicate with their children and set consistent examples of positive behaviour for them to follow.

There is also the case of two mothers who were in the habit of punishing all of their children — even when it was a matter of only disciplining one. Happily they understood that this approach was not only unreasonable but also extremely harmful to the children.

Continue to Expanding My Family (2), including Expanding the programme, Involving fathers and Families in hard–to–reach areas.

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