The First Children’s Forum, 2000: Participating within the Family
Speaking to delegates at the First Children’s Forum, Ankara, 2000.
Photograph © UNICEF Turkey 2000
Problems within the family
Discussing the right to participate within the family, delegates gave examples of adult behaviour at home which they found most upsetting. We discussed everything we encountered in family life: from the slighting of our opinions and ideas to not having the right to speak up; from lack of trust to the pressure to ‘study’; from intolerance to beatings; from the indictment of families who commit violence against their children to specialist assistance in dealing with abuse; from not being consulted while making decisions about us to inconsistent treatment.
We agreed that:
Naturally there are times when a child is right, and there are times when he or she is wrong. But this matter is very important to us: families that treat their children with violence will never raise an individual who is an asset to society. We are people who deserve affection not beatings.
Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 18:
Parents have joint primary responsibility for raising the child, and the State shall support them in this. The State shall provide appropriate assistance to parents in child-raising.
We agreed that we want girls to be sent to school; we don’t want marriage at an early age; we want everyone to take action for the education of parents; we want democracy within the family; we want respect for the child’s interests and his or her choice of profession -- and we don’t want to be pressured about our beliefs.
Action for the family
What should be done?
The child should be seen as an individual with the right to speak in the family.
How should this be done?
Children should periodically meet with experts to discuss their place in their families and their ability to express themselves. Awareness of students and teachers should be raised; discrimination by teachers among students should be prevented.
Who should do this?
Every child should have access to an expert for consultation in times of need. Parents should ask the child’s opinion. SHÇEK, UNICEF, MONE, and the MOH should work to enlighten both children and parents regarding the child’s right to speak up in the family.
When should this be done?
Children can be more knowledgeable than their parents in some instances.
What should be done?
The child’s right to prosecute his/her family
How should this be done?
The child’s right to bring his/her family to justice should be legalised. Laws enabling children to defend themselves against their families should be formulated.
Who should do this?
The State should exercise its right to prosecute the family when it fails to protect its children. The State should provide support to the family for the protection of children. This issue should be addressed by the Ministry of Justice, SHÇEK, and the Ministry of Internal Affairs.
When should this be done?
As soon as possible.
What should be done?
Freedom of thought (religious beliefs, political, etc.)
How should this be done?
The family should provide a loving, respectful environment that nurtures freedom of thought and should not pressure the child. Parents’ understanding of the importance of providing a democratic atmosphere at home should be ensured.
Who should do this?
Non-governmental organisations should raise the awareness of society, and consequently families, regarding freedom of thought. Schools should provide adequate information on the child’s right to freedom of thought.
When should this be done?
As soon as possible.
What should be done?
Choice of school and profession.
How should this be done?
The child should define his/her own areas of interest and should be able to attend his/her choice of school without pressure after completion of primary education. The child should be guided by his/her family and school based on the child’s own merits. In some areas of Turkey a profession passes from father to son, whereas every child should have a choice in selecting a school and a profession according to his/her aptitudes, without facing gender-based discrimination. Girls should be sent to school.
Who should do this?
MONE should conduct this -- especially by providing guidance to families and children through teachers, education experts, and Guidance Research Centre staff.
When should this be done?
As soon as possible
What should be done?
Choice of friends
How should this be done?
The family should keep a watchful eye over the child and, rather than becoming directly involved in the choice of friends, should direct the child by example. The family should avoid gender, opinion and belief-based discrimination in the choice of friends. Rather than sever relations with friends who are considered ‘bad’, we should win them over by continuing our friendship with the support of our families.
Who should do this?
The child and the family should receive assistance from experts if necessary.
When should this be done?
As soon as possible.
What should be done?
Coercion of children to marry early
How should this be done?
Having taught the child about the problems of early marriage, decision-making by the child on matters concerning him/her should be ensured.
Who should do this?
Marriage at an early age through coercion may lead to adverse conditions such as suicide, health problems, etc. In particular, the Ministries of Justice and Health, SHÇEK, and the Ministry of Internal Affairs should conduct joint activities on this issue, and the condition should be prevented not only through legislation but with information/education activities.
When should this be done?
Immediately.
What should be done?
The right to play and have fun
How should this be done?
The number of play areas should be increased and conditions necessary for the child’s social and cultural interaction within his/her areas of interest must be provided. The family should not confuse play-time and study time.
Who should do this?
MONE should increase the number of social activity facilities. Schools should organise outings to the theatre, trips, camping events and sports competitions to entertain children during free periods. Families’ support should be obtained.
When should this be done?
Immediately.
What should be done?
Obtain the child’s views on a change in his/her environment.
How should this be done?
Any decision about a change in the child’s environment should be made with his/her future in mind. SHÇEK and the family should obtain the child’s opinion when deciding on where the child will live, and should assess the conditions.
Who should do this?
Assistance of experts should be sought to reduce the impact of a change in the child’s environment and to ensure his/her adaptation.
When should this be done?
As soon as possible.
What should be done?
Avoidance by the family of physical or emotional violence in child rearing.
How should this be done?
Parents should be made aware that children cannot be trained properly through physical and emotional abuse. Appropriate parenting guidance should be provided to the family for the use of valid child-rearing techniques. Families that expose their children to violence should be prosecuted, and the severity of existing measures should be increased
Who should do this?
SHÇEK should work with the Ministry of Justice, the Ministry of Internal Affairs, and MONE.
When should this be done?
As soon as possible.
Opinion on family
Mustafa, from Tokat
There are many waifs hawking paper hankies in the streets. Doubtless these children have no rights to speak of. There is no one to listen to their problems. If you were to ask them: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ none could say ‘I want to become an attorney, I want to become a teacher’ because they have no rights. Do these children hawk tissue in the street or shine shoes because they want to? If the parents are directly responsible for bringing these children into the world, I definitely want a law to be passed for the prosecution of those parents in order to ensure that the rights of these children are recognised.
Erdal, from Bayburt
Guidance counselling at schools isn’t fully developed. In one school some kind of test was done in a guidance counseling class, and one of the questions was, Have you ever thought of committing suicide?
There were forty people in the class, and fifteen of them replied that they had thought of killing themselves. Low grades received at schools are the real reason for this. Because guidance counselling is not developed, people can’t feel relaxed or they can’t relax because psychologists aren’t consulted. Perhaps if guidance counseling is made widely available at schools then most reasons for suicide will be eliminated and people will find jobs more easily, and will be able to take the university exam.
Delegate,
I think children’s rights in style of the European system should be provided within Turkish families, because when the families’ economic conditions are poor in Europe, they give them financial assistance for child care, they make financial investments.
Delegate,
When a child is born, a birth certificate is issued, and his/her religion is written on it as ‘Islam’. If that child doesn’t adopt Islam as his/her religion when he/she grows up, the child’s freedom is restricted here.
Ayhan, from Ankara
What I want most is prevention of unenlightened marriages -- I’ve been watching this for years. Two ignorant people fall in love, get married for the sake of pleasure, make ten or twenty children, let them out on the street, thinking somehow they’ll manage, someone will take care of them. I mean the least the State could do is maybe pass a law against this.
Demet, from Kars
Parents contradict themselves … Sometimes, while they’re doing work, they let their children sit in front of the television for hours so that they won’t be ‘under foot’. When the child grows up some more, say school age, they prevent them from watching television.
Continue to the next section Participating in Health.
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THE FIRST CHILDREN’S FORUM -- NOVEMBER 2000
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