A chance of a happy life for little Polina with HIV, and her new mother Tamara
The Doctor’s warning was unequivocal: most likely, tiny Polina will be unable even to sit upright in the future. At the age of six months, the girl’s weight was only four kilograms, and she was diagnosed as having HIV, alcohol syndrome and some other ailments resistant to treatment. Tamara Manannikova read about the girl in a Kaliningrad newspaper and went to visit her in a hospital. She didn’t know yet how she could help the baby. When she saw her, absolutely helpless and weak, she could not get her out of her mind. Three weeks later, having done all the required paperwork, Tamara Manannikova – a mother of an adult daughter, a grandmother of a cute six-year-old granddaughter and a wife taking care of her visually impaired husband – all in one person – brought Polina to her tiny one-room apartment. Tamara was 53 years old and little Polina – seven months old. They have been together for three years now. “Doctors told me that Polina’s case was hopeless, that she was not long for this world”, Tamara recalled. “I imagined her lying all alone in that hospital ward seeing only white walls around her, her life so miserable with no joy or happiness… I decided to bring her home and do my best to make her feel better.” Tamara remembers the initial period, after she brought the girl home, as a never-ending nightmare. Polina cried non-stop; she had a poor appetite; she often had fevers and had a problem falling asleep. During the first year of living with Tamara’s family, Polina had to go back to hospital three times. The girl had a weak immune system and fell seriously ill easily. Throughout all that period, Tamara did not leave her for a day. “The girl is OK now thanks to Tamara’s care and support”, Tatiana Nikitina, doctor-in-chief of the Kaliningrad AIDS Centre which the girl visits for regular check-ups, said. “The child lives in a family surrounded by love, care and affection. The child’s future is uncertain. Everything depends on Tamara’s health and strength. The girl would’ve died long ago without her.” Tamara came face to face with all the implications of stigmatization of HIV-infected people. From the very beginning, she didn’t make a secret of the girl’s diagnosis. Neither did she advertise it for any unnecessary reason. Kaliningrad is far from being a small town, but news still travels fast… So now Tamara prefers to go for a walk with the child far away from their neighbourhood. “Several times upon seeing us, mothers took their children quickly away from the playground,” she said. “Our neighbors at the dacha community also raised a hue and cry upon learning about Polina’s diagnosis. This is not right. Such children are more than others in need of care and affection, as since their early days, they have been deprived of both parental love and health. As to Tamara’s family, their attitude is controversial. Tamara’s daughter, who lives in another town, supported her decision. Stil, for the last three years, she has failed to come to Kaliningrad to see her mother and bring her little daughter. Initially, Tamara’s husband Sergei was strongly against her decision. “I couldn’t understand Tamara when she decided to bring Polina here”, he said. “Look here,” I told her. “Our life is far from being an easy one. Besides, we are not that young. We’ll have to rely only on our own resources. How will you cope with all this?” “Now, I’ve got used to Polina living with us so much that I can not imagine our life without her. Tamara goes to work in the evening, and I stay at home and look after the girl. I give her medicine and put her to bed, I sing songs and talk to her…” The family income is made up of Tamara’s salary as a foster caregiver and a pension, and there is never enough money in the family. The child is provided in due course with free ARV drugs, and they give her a free massage at a Social Center for Assistance to the Family and Children. Tamara speaks to the girl all the time. When she dresses her, she is reading poems; when she feeds her, she is telling her all sorts of nursery rhymes; when she puts her to bed, she is signing lullabies. She has been tirelessly breathing life into the girl and nothing can stop her –Tamara fears only one thing – that there would be no one to take care of the girl if something bad happens to her. “Foster care has been developing quite successfully in Kaliningrad, though not at the desired pace,” Nina Vorontsova, Director of the Social Center for Assistance to the Family and Children, pointed out. “There are about 200 foster families in the city. But I understand that this is the only case when an HIV-infected child, who was also diagnosed as suffering from other serious diseases, was placed in foster care. The girl has changed visibly since then. The circulation of the Kaliningrad newspaper from which Tamara learnt about the fate of the abandoned HIV-infected girl is 100,000 copies. About the same number of people must have read the article about the relinquished child. However, only one person, Tamara Parfiriyevna Manannikova, has taken the story to heart and made that crucial decision.
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